Paint the Town Red

June 20 2014: The Joker and Harley Quinn are preparing a performance for the Tri-City area the likes of which they have never seen. And for previews? They take the show on the road to New York City.


One of several reputable jewelers in an upscale shopping district in Uptown Manhattan



  • Civilian Victims
  • Faceless Mooks
  • Snicker and Doodle - Harley's Hyenas

Mood Music:

All in all… it had been a productive day. So many things checked off the list. Two garden supply stores, a high end custom clothing store (Harley had wanted a chat with the head seamstress. It had gone over about as expected) a dentists’ office and a hardware store had gotten all the essentials out of the way. Now the two of them had met up after slipping by a police cordon with the aid of a sweet old lady and were homing in on a Tiffany's about ten miles from the last scene of the crime. So far their hired help had ably kept the cops off their backs. Sure, about six of them had been arrested but… more could be found. Right now it was time to focus on getting the right accessories for the leading lady in this production.

"Ah here we are." Two masked, mildly disturbed thugs waited in the alley for Joker and Harley to make their grand entrance. "Show time, Harley."


Harley Quinn has been thoroughly enjoying this trip to New York. The sights, the sounds, the mayhem. Harley is in a more violent mood today, as evidenced by her leather gear. No need to hide the knives or guns like with the more playful outfits. She strides along beside the Joker, a candy cane striped bat resting on one shoulder.

The henchmen? Well, they'll all honestly be able to say that they were forced into service. It's hard to find the truly loyal nutjobs that make good henchmen. In Harley's other hand are the leashes for the two hyenas that slaver in front of her, Snicker and Doodle. Springing out her babies from their own asylum was easy.

"Hope you don't mind, Puddin', but I think I'm gonna take a few extra things for me. For after our little production. Diamonds are a girl's best friend, after all."


Grinning manically, the Joker cracks his knuckles. "Of course, Harley. I'll just… speak to the manager about it." He's got several knives on his person today. His white hands are already bloody from 'convincing' several other hapless civilians to see things his way. It's rather amazing that nobody's died. Yet.

He throws the door open and strides into the Tiffany's. "Ladies and Gentlemen!" His theatrical voice calls out. "This is a robbery."

He punctuates the statement by seizing the armed security guard by the shoulders as he tries to sweep his gun out and hurling him head first into a display, shattering glass and knocking the unfortunate guard out cold. Next, an older man gets a cane kicked out from under him. "Everyone put your hands in the air like you just don't care." Ugh. Did Joker just make a pop culture reference? Strike that. Did he just butcher a pop culture reference?


Harley Quinn and the hyenas giggle in unison as the Clown Prince of Crime busts some poor guard's face open on the glass and butchers pop culture. Again. She releases the leashes on the hyenas, letting them wander and intimidate the shoppers. There is screaming. There is running. There is mayhem. Isn't it lovely? She starts scooping up whatever catches her eye in the now very opened case. "We're a little out of our usual turf, so be sure to give us a warm New York welcome!"


Mr J. hops over another case and takes the manager by the lapels of his sports coat. "You! Yes you! I'm here to do you a favor. You have all these very expensive gems sitting in the back of your store in a little vault. Why, just anyone could waltz in and take them. So I'm gonna put them somewhere that they'll never be found for you. Doesn't that make you happy?" Out comes a knife as he hauls the poor sot into the back.

"Harley, do keep an eye out while you shop."

Once the Joker's out of sight, a particularly brave teller reaches down and tries to trip the silent alarm under her register. Everyone else is either cowering from Harley or the hyenas. It's not clear, really, that they've eaten recently…


Harley Quinn blows Joker a kiss as he heads into the back of the store with the manager. "Sure thing, Mr. J," she tells him as she wanders around the store. Occasionally, a display will catch her eye. "Batter up!" she cries before swinging, letting the broken glass fall like diamonds on the floor. More jewelry is scooped up. "Pretty, pretty, pretty," she cooes, tossing them into a bag that is being held by one of the henchmen. That's when something catches her eye. Someone is trying to be a hero. The bat swings down and hits the register. "You don't wanna do that, honey. That's liable to make Mr. J very angry. And when he gets angry, things get messy. Trust me. Girl ta girl."


"Eep!" The bang-k'ching of the cash register being smashed open startles the girl who really did think Harley was too distracted to notice.

"S-sorry!" She cringes. Of course, now the drawer is open and all the money they've taken in recently is on display. Folks don't usually pay for this kind of thing in cash but… there's still a fair amount in there.

All units near Uptown Manhattan, we have a reported sighting of the Joker and Harley Quinn in the commercial district. Respond Code 3.

These New Yorkers. They just don't know the score. Haven't they ever seen the news? One of the patrons is edging toward the unconscious armed guard and his gun.


Harley Quinn holds the bat at the cashier, pointing it at her like a threat. She looks around the place. These New York types have a bit of spine to them. A bit of fight. That makes things a little more fun. Oh look! Another hero. Harley smiles, predatory and maniacal. She is, after all, in one of her more deadly moods.

"Snicker! Doodles!" Harley points to the man inching towards the downed guard. "Dinner!" The hyenas need no further instruction. They lunge at the poor man, ripping and tearing as he screams in agony. Harley starts to stride in the store. "Anyone else wanna play hero? Anyone? Volunteers?"


The Joker strides back out into the storefront of now very intimidated people… not so intimidated that some of them aren't glaring daggers at he and Harley though. There's blood on his coat and a bag in his hand full of uncut or unset gems. "I got you some extra little sparkles here." He shakes the bag. "I hope you don't mind, but I think some of them are blood diamonds." If it weren't for the fact that he's almost certainly referring to the store manager's blood - who did not incidentally come back out with him - it might almost be groan worthy.


Harley Quinn strides over to the Joker when he comes from the back, sliding her hand over his chest as she kisses him passionately. Amongst the blood, the tears, the screams, apparently they still have the time for a little affection. One of the two henchmen clears his throat. "Boss? I hear sirens, boss. Time to make like a tree?"


The Joker keeps kissing Harley, quite fervently himself. He does, though, produce a gun and shoot out a window near the henchman. Missing him by inches. Once the kiss winds down he glares. "Never interrupt Harley time." He says flatly, his eyes cold.

Sweeping his gaze around the store he starts to smile again. "Did you get everything your little heart desired, Harley?"

He doesn't appear concerned about the police, mostly because he's already plotted their egress. He had it all in his head even as they made their approach.


Harley Quinn shivers when her obsession nearly kills someone for her. He does know how to make a girl weak in the knees. She cuddles him and smiles, content with their little caper. Holding out a hand, she shows off a ring that Elizabeth Taylor would have been proud to wear. "I already picked out our engagement ring. Dya like it?"

The hyenas seem to be ready to settle down for a good meal, the screaming has stopped.

"Ready to head out, Puddin'?"


"Yes. Come Harley, our chariot awaits."

He picks up one of the loot bags and strides out onto the street. The first squad car comes screeching to a halt in front of the store and Joker casually kneecaps the officer on the driver's side as he gets out.

"Thank you, officer." He says in an exaggerated, mocking New York accent with a tip of an invisible cap.

"Who says there's never a cop around when you need one, eh Harley?" He cackles as he slides into the drivers’ seat.


Harley Quinn starts to stride out beside her main man.

"Snickers! Doodles! Come!" The pair of hyenas whimpers. Their dinner is still warm and tasty. But since Mama doesn't seem to be stopping, they slink after her.

The cop car stops, the officer shot. Harley smiles ferally, her blue eyes dancing with pleasure at the mayhem. She opens the back door, letting her babies jump in the back seat before she herself slides into the passenger side.

"Ummm… boss? What about us?" They look at the back seat. Yeah, Harley's hyenas, not going in there.


"I arranged a cab for you." The Joker grins as a cab with a mook in a clown mask pulls up. "Now be sure and lead the cops on a nice, looooong chase." He says as he revs the engine. "And come back for your next assignment tomorrow at one." If they make it that is. That kind of goes without saying.

The Clown Prince puts his foot down on the gas and the wheels spin and screech.

"Oh. And tip your cabbies!" He calls back as the squad car peels out.

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