Deconstructive Dentistry

July 07 2014: Harley Quinn and the Joker take their crime spree to Metropolis, where they have a brief run in with a certain banshee

Smile-A-Minute Dentistry Office

A large dentist office that handles a variety of on site surgical procedures as well as normal dental needs



  • Civilian Victims

Mood Music:

Metropolis. This is the shining jewel of the Tri-City Area. It's orderly, peaceful, productive and relatively clean, even in the poorer parts of the city. Joker hates it. It's too much like Batsy, all hat and no pony, as they say. There's no balance, no fun, no chaos. Well there wasn't, anyway, until he arrived and started to rectify that. Their grand performance needs a few more… party favors. He has henchmen picking up some of those for him around the city while he attends to a fairly large dental practice downtown. Harley had a… new outfit she'd wanted to try, courtesy of that Seamstress they'd appropriated.

The first thing he does, of course, is bash the front door in. "Good afternoon everybody! My name is Doctor J, and I'll be taking very good care of you." He's got a white lab coat on over his pinstripe suit and a surgeon's mask covering his usual grin. "Let's get started, shall we?"


If Harley's mood are dictated by what she is wearing, then is the sexy nurse outfit a good or bad sign. She strides in after Joker with a devilish grin, a cane that she stole from some rich guy held over a shoulder, and a gun holstered to her ribs.

"Ladies and gentlejerks, please give a warm hand to your new doctor, my Puddin', Mr. J. We will get to each and every one of you in due time, so just be patient."

She presses the head of the cane to someone's chest as they try to escape. "Now now! No skipping ahead of the line. Everyone will get their turn."

That look in her eyes doesn't look stable, as if she is just looking for a reason, as half baked as she needs, to start getting violent. A pair of thugs walk in from behind and start going into the office proper, coming out with supplies, letting the Joker and Harley have their fun while they do the actual grunt work.


One of the upsides to Jeannette's state of… well. Undead status is not needing regular dental checkups. Her teeth stay in her head on their own, so she doesn't happen to be in the waiting room of the dental office when the Joker bursts into it. She is, however, in one of the other offices in the same building when she hears the crash, and raises an eyebrow as she looks over some papers. Her eyes darken as she sniffs the air, and looks to her associates.

"It would be in your best interest to perhaps hide in the panic room I had built for you. This… isn't the circumstance I had feared, but it still wouldn't hurt to have a few feet of steel in between you and the outside world. Take my assistant with you, wouldn't you? Most appreciated. Mmm, You'll probably not want to come out until the police come looking for survivors." Just what that office is for, and what Jeannette is doing there… who knows. Actually… it's probably best /not/ to know.


"Yes, well, let's see who's up first." The Joker snatches a chart from one of the terrified receptionists and leafs through it upside down. "Hrm… hrm… hrm… ah! Mister Thomson his having a root canal. Harley, dear, why don't you go make her comfortable while I… talk to the staff about some policy changes…" He turns his baleful grin on the charge nurse and brandishes a fairly large looking pistol as he comes around the corner to the office proper.

The thugs have two strict instructions. One) Get the supplies. Here, that means most of the narcs and the nitrous oxide. Two)Don't let anyone leave, call the police or trigger the alarm. And they'll do their best… 'cause they're as terrified of Joker as everyone else is her.


Striding in to see Mr. Thompson, Harley walks over to his chair, bashing the dentist that is sitting beside him in the teeth to get him out of her way. The end on the cane is a big brass ball. Perfect for the job.

"Oops! Clean up on aisle three," she calls out. She sits herself down into Mr. Thompson's lap, pinning him in place by straddling his lap. It's a rather intimate position, but Harley doesn't mind.

"Hi there. I'm Dr. Quinn, Medicine Woman. But you can call me Harley. Everybody does. So, root canal! I've never done one of those before." She starts going through the instruments beside her, picking up the needle. "Don't worry. I won't feel a thing." The novocaine is then shot into the man's thigh. "And neither will you. If I was doing surgery on your leg."

The patients in the other room are then subjected to the screams of agony as Harley works. "Stop yer complainin', ya big baby! I haven't even gotten to the root part yet!"


And then the woman with the white hair and strange clothing comes in. Or, at least, approaches the big, bashed in door. Her clothing is /strange/- anachronistic, revealing, but not particularly /tight/, so, there's not much going for her in the "probably a super-hero" department. "Just so you know, you set off the building's built-in alarm sytem when you kicked the door in," she tells them. "If that makes a difference as to how long you draw this little of doctor out, I thought I'd let you know," she says, hand on one hip.

The banshee takes a long breath in, and where her eyes had been violet before, are now pitch black. "I'd ask that any killing you're going to do, please do it now, while I can at least appreciate it? I can already taste it, and it's… terribly enticing, you know?"


The Joker has been lecturing the staff on rigorous new biohazard containment procedures. "Now, we can't let things get bloody here. Blood is a contaminant even if it is a byproduct of our work. So now, you get to show me that you know how to deal with biohazard spills."

He shoots one of the nurses in the leg. "Snicker! Doodle! Lunch time!" He cackles as the Hyenas prowl in through the door and right for the wounded man, smelling blood. Terrified whimpering comes from the break room, followed by snarls and screams.


The Joker stops when the oddly dressed woman speaks. "Impatient, aren't we? Anyone can go around waving a gun and killing people. There's an art to sowing terror along with all that."

The henchmen have gathered most of the office's rather substantial supply of narcs and gas and are in the process of loading it up as Joker stalks down toward the examination and operating rooms, nodding to the odd woman as he does.


Harley is clearly having a good time if the giggles mingled with the screams are any indication. The man finally passes out from the pain, which infuriates Harley. "Dammit! Puddin'! I broke my toy!" She gets up off his lap and pulls out her gun, shooting him in the leg she previously froze. And then the dentist too, who is still groaning in the corner with his teeth broken.


Jeannette's features twist in an amused little smirk. "I knew a lady who thought much the same as that, a long, long time ago." She gets a fond, distant look in her inky black eyes. "Of course, I listened to her dying screams after I fed her ground glass every day for several months, so I suppose we called it even in the end, there. Poor dear wore her fingers literally to the bone trying to claw her way out of that tower." She watches Harley with some half-interest. "Your hand-maiden plays the child for you now," she says, frowning a little.

"A tip, my dear killer," Jeannette addresses the clown as she walks away. "She'll do you far more use when she's not playing your little fool. She has potential, this one. Don't keep her on a leash like those beasts of yours back there." She grins, and laughs to herself. "I was my lady's chambermaid, you know, and look how that worked out for her." And with that, she's gone


The Joker snickers as though that was an amusing jest. Then again… most things are to him.

"Did Mister Thompson take well to the medication, Harley dear?" He says, giving the odd woman a half wave as she leaves. Wow, people in this city are nuts. Change Harley? What on earth for? He walks in to one room on a whim.

"You… look like you need some deconstructive dentistry, madam." Several muted thumps sound from it as the Joker proceeds to use his cane to remove several teeth before stalking back out like a lion on the prowl.


Harley saunters into the main room, looking at the other patients as they cringe. Luckily for them, it's the woman at the door that gets her attention. She leans on the cane she still holds, holstering the gun. "Oh, cupcake, we already had a looooooong talk about that leash of his. We came to an understanding. And a lot of bruises." She blows Joker a kiss. "Didn't we, Puddin'?"

Of course, the pair keep missing each other, walking into the room the other is in to find each other. It might be comical if the pair weren't terrifying. The pair of hyenas slink out of the office, blood on their muzzles as they lick it off. "Seems the boys have got all the gear we came here for. Wait… Nearly forgot something…

"Like a child, she runs to one of the windows of the office and opens it wide. She sticks her head out the window and starts to yell. "Yoohoo!!! Crime spree goin' on here! Hello!! Any friends of Batman wanna stop us? Hey Capes!! People are dyin' here!!" She pulls back in and shakes her head.

"The laziness of superheroes these days. It's downright depressing."


"That we did, Harley." The Joker chuckles, remembering that fight. Aaaaaah. That was a good fight. "Yes, Harley. It seems the good people of the Tri City area don't appreciate a good vaudville show anymore. We're going to have to up our game if we wish to attract the kind of crowds we want." The evil clown rubs his hands together with a wicked chuckle. "Fortunately, I think we have everything we need now for a proper opening night. It's just a question of picking the right… occasion… and location…" He starts eyeing the patients, clearly considering something crooked.

Harley closes the distance between herself and her obsession, something between a saunter and a traipsing. She pulls Joker's doctor's mask off his face and gives him a chaste little kiss on his nose. "I'm sure we could get some attention back home. But perhaps we should seed the audience with some of our own people." She looks over at the rest of the patients as they cower. "Any volunteers?"


Joker is stalking, literally stalking, around the room, examining each patient in turn. "Hrm. The elderly is a classic… no, too trite. The young and bold? Too predictable. Ah ha!" He grabs the shirts of the most average looking man and woman present and hoists them to their feet. "The everyman! A staple of the craft." He grins manically and shoves them toward Harley and the sound of her 'babies' outside. "Yes, what do you think, Harley dear? Could be a good couple of stage hands with the right… motivation."


Catching the people as they are thrown to her, Harley smiles and give each one a once over, spinning them around. Each one gets a leash, on the end of it a hyena. "Now, hold on tight. If you drop the leash, my babies have been trained to attack the person that was on the other end. Well, other then me. They never attack me." She kneels down to smother the pair with affection, talking babytalk to them.

"Cause they are my babies! Yes they are! Yes they are! And they are mummy's good little darlings, aren't they? Yes they are!" It would be adorable if it wasn't so damn terrifying.

Harley smiles and stands up, linking her arm with Joker's. "Shall we, Mr. J? Or did you have more in mind?"


The Joker sweeps his eyes around the room. They narrow. He aims his gun… and shoots the 'ring for service' bell right off the desk. "Never did like those things. Yes, Harley, I believe Daddy's done now." And with that he strolls out of the office, to the sound of distant but blaring sirens that are all but sure to be too late by the time they arrive.

Back to: RP Logs

Unless otherwise stated, the content of this page is licensed under Creative Commons Attribution-NonCommercial-NoDerivs 3.0 License