Gurney Dash

July 17, 2014 Hearses carrying the deceased really should double check their back doors. A group of heroes, thankfully, are on hand to help out.

Midtown Manhattan

Lots of noise, lots of traffic, yadda, yadda…



  • Hearse drivers

Mood Music:

If there was such a thing as a perfect day in New York City, it was and is today. The thunder and lightning of the days past, complete with power outages and overhead stoplights being blown down is now a fleeting memory (but for Public Works out with their signs and cones and seemingly perpetual lunch breaks).

While not the shining beacon that is Metropolis, NYC does afford a certain blue fuzzy elf with a little bit of privacy, if not anonymity. Small children do still point at the tail, or perhaps reach out to touch a fuzzy blue arm while he stands in a crowd to cross the street at a crossing. While bamfing might be easier, it doesn't do much for just getting out and enjoying the weather- and so, he's -walking- to the park.

Okay, so Kurt bamfed to the city initially…

City streets are a little tricky, and with the rains of spring and summer compounding the problems had in the winter, there are lots… and lots of potholes. At the intersection of a wide street, the proper amount of cars, taxis and busses pass, all honking their horn as if by magic, their noise will allow some alteration of physics and allow two things to occupy the same space at the same time. Nope.

One of these vehicles that has something of a near miss, and still continues at a good clip, is a hearse. It's a little beat up, for certain, and when it hits one of those potholes at speed, the back door flips open, and a gurney begins to roll out of the back door. (Someone obviously didn't do their job!)


The wheels hit the pavement and actually begins to roll, a body evident under the white shroud atop. If it wasn't obvious, a hand drops from the bottom of the sheet, moving freely as it uses its own brand of physics and takes the momentum built up from its previous conveyance.


Jericho walks for a lot of reasons. One of them is that it gives him time to think. Another is that it gives him time to scan for small networks that he might otherwise miss. A third is that it's damn good exercise and he has to keep in shape. Running as if your life depended upon it is just an expression for most people. Jericho Trent… is kind of not one of them.

Most of the surprises in most of his days go 'bang.' This one goes 'wrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr'. That's… a gurney… with a stiff. This place… is so very strange. It's still a good distance away, but rolling toward the hacker and he has enough time to consider if he actually wants to dart out into traffic and do the nice, dignified thing and stop the runaway corpse.


If there was ever such a thing as a perfect day in New York… … this was not it, for Laura Kinney. The storm and the gusty winds - they did things like drown out her sense of smell, flooding her with the scent of rain and clean, the steady thrum of raindrops against the roof of her bolthole likewise white noise to block out the world with.

Plus, if she had to sneak around - it was far easier to do that during a rainstorm.

As far as Laura Kinney knew, she had no call to sneak at the moment. As far as the young ex-assassin knew…

It was a wonderful day for a walk. To linger in the park felt exposed - vulnerable to her. So she deliberately made herself sit there, secure in the knowledge that no sniper would materialize out of nowhere, that no agent of the Facility would materialize and try to cart her life away. Sometimes it was okay to take small risks.

Dressed in a mauve tank top and pleated brownish skirt - a pair of black shorts and kneehigh military boots worn beneath that, she also wore a silk collar of sorts, a silver cross dangling from it. Laura turns her green eyes at the sound of the commotion from the streets, noting the hearse discharging its cargo. It was dead. A body without life was a contract fulfilled in another time. A certain promise that had lost much of its meaning.

But no doubt it would threaten the lives of those around it. Laura predicted cars would swerve, or the body would barrel into a pedestrian and cause undue harm, or similar.

That must not be.

Digging her toes into the pavement, Laura leaps forward, vaulting into traffic as if she had no concern for her well-being, darting between cars and things as she starts to head for the rolling gurney.


"Somebody stop that squirrel!"

Darting through dozens of legs is a lone brown squirrel, running and bounding as though its very life depends upon it. Signs, lightpoles, benches, newspaper stands, anything it can leap off of it does, with clear emphasis on speed.

Bounding along right behind it is a furry blue girl, complete with a (much less bushy) tail that flicks and darts about almost exactly like the rodent's. People nearby yelp and dive out of the way as she leapfrogs through, having eyes only for the renegade squirrel. "Pardon ze moi, comin' through - awesome hat miss! - comics sucked today don't bother - whupsorry! - try the crab rangoon! - third word on the left is 'recuperate' thank me later - is that the jalepino and cheddar?"

Talia's starting to gain ground on the furry rodent when it suddenly darts out across the street and comes to land..on a mobile gurney. The blue girl sticks to the side of a lamp and watches as it goes rolling on by, complete with its smaller brown passenger that angrily flicks its tail and chitters at her, sitting square upon the sternum of the body (mostly) hidden beneath the sheet.



If it weren't enough that the drivers of the hearse obviously hasn't a clue that their cargo has fallen off the back of the truck, literally, a squirrel has made its leap for freedom on the rolling gurney as a blue girl sticks to the side of a lamp post to watch its progress. Okay, compound that with cars now blowing their horns even louder, as if such a thing could possibly happen on a Manhattan roadway, and dodging (which New York drivers either can do with great precision, or can't, with grave consequences) the freed rolling bed.

Glowing yellow eyes open wider, and from the middle of the crosswalk, a BAMF! sounds, leaving behind the sulfur stench of a cloud, and Kurt lands on the hood of the hearse, calling in through the front window. It'll get attention, certainly, and the black vehicle swerves as it gains speed; a natural reaction, really, to a blue demon-looking thing on the outside of their car!

"You dropped something back there!" is yelled. Not much can shake Kurt, however, though his tail does flap a little in the breeze; he's stuck on the car and there's no getting him off. "Pull over!"


Jericho hasn't had time to register either Laura running for the gurney nor the arrival of the two blue fuzzy ones. But he has made a decision. He'd really appreciate it if someone were to stop his corpse, or the corpse of a friend, under similar circumstances. Wow that's a strange thought. Into traffic he goes as well, angling in on the runaway not-quite-so-final resting place from the opposite direction of the former super assassin. A taxicab screeches to a halt in front of him and he ends up simply vault-sliding over the hood. See? This is why he keeps up with his exercise.


A smell of sulphur on a hot day. Laura's eyes briefly flick towards Kurt. Briefly - she was vaulting off of the roof of a Toyota SUV, a step behind the rolling gurney. From Kurt, her eyes track towards Talia, and what might have been interpreted as a single mutant trying to help, well.

There were two of them now. Two of these blue fuzzy demonic elves.

Obviously, they were up to something here. Another glance given the gurney, and she could see a relatively normal looking man - even if there was something odd about him - coming out to stop the thing.

Narrowing her green eyes dangerously, Laura squats on top of the vehicle, one of her hands going down to press against the hot roof of the car, her eyes fixing upon TJ, favoring her with an intense stare. The owner of said vehicle, a woman dressed relatively nicely, kinda wheels her car window down, to lean out it and gape up at Laura.

Laura was tensing up tremendously, her attention never wavering from TJ.





The squirrel, not expecting the giant blue creature to appear out of thin air within a cloud of rotten egg perfume, gives up the ghost. Or rather, it gives up a ring that it had 'borrowed' before it lunges off of the gurney and bounces across the hood of a nearby taxi on its way to freedom, without its momentary prize.

Hunched over the dead body Talia holds up the precious piece of jewelry within both hands, a look of absolute triumph written across her face. "And to the victor go the spoi-Gah!"

Just then remembering that she's riding a dead guy on a speeding table within Manhattan traffic has the gal promptly ducking back down, adhering herself to the rolling platform on all fours as it goes sailing past another car that had just sounded its horn. "Uh. Crap. The handbook didn't cover this one. Um..what would Wolverine do? No, that's a -terrible- idea. Ah…" There's a guy jumping over a car to get -closer- to the gurney. "You..! Uh. Yeah! Catch! Please? This is really kinda embarrassing now!"


The *thump*thump* of the backdoor of the hearse sounds through the concrete canyon known as New York, at times over the din of the horns that blare, trying to either get the driver's attention to lost cargo, attention to the blue devil that is plastered to the windscreen, or perhaps the fact that it simply is New York City and it is de rigeur to do so. The vibrations of the door as it thumps, however, does gain the attention of the passenger who sits up (who needs seatbelts) and looks back towards their empty cargo hold. "Shit! Kyle! We lost Czarnecki! They're gonna kill us— what the hell is that thing? Ohgodohgod.. get the hell off our car!"

"I'm trying— what? You're kidding.."

Taking a deep breath, it's not something Kurt truly wants to do, but in the next second, he disappears from the windshield of the car and lands inside, between the driver and passenger, causing 'Kyle' to turn the wheel violently, causing a head on collision— at speed.


At the moment of impact, Kurt's got one hand on the driver, and his tail around the waist of the passenger, and in the blink of an eye, he teleports them both back near where he -thinks- the gurney may be…

Only to find Talia perched atop and others closing in. His charges, however, are on their knees and retching, emptying their stomachs of whatever might have been within.

Rough ride?


Well… Jericho was going to stop the gurney. But noww there's an anime convention escapee atop it addition to the stiff. Momentem… is totally a thing right now. Still, he's pretty well committed to getting in front of the damn thing now. He makes it with even a half a second to brace for the inevitable impact…

The jarring of the impact may well of flung the body clear were it not for the weight of the blue fuzzy girl atop it. All of that lovely momentum transfer's right into Jer's arms and chest and from the noise he makes it was not something he enjoyed. The impact does tear his tee across the sleeve quite nicely as a corner catches it, revealing tattoo like markings on his arm in vaguely circuit like patterns.


The only thing that Laura Kinney knew for certain is that she had little clue as to what was actually going on right now.

'Young lady, are you alright?' intrudes on her thoughts, the contribution from the woman in the SUV who was blinking up at her, that Laura was dutifully ignoring - such was her focus on TJ. Other burst of sulphur, that scent an assault on her sense of smell moreso than the vaguely sewerish scent that was New York, and… Laura turns her eyes down towards Kurt. He was clutching one man - no, two men, and they looked sick to the stomach.

Laura's eyes harden a bit. It could be innocent, she wasn't certain how. But if it was even the chance of kidnapping - well, that was something she wasn't sure she could allow.

Skirt torn from her squat - that was why she wore the shorts beneath, after all, the young woman lunges from the top of the SUV, landing briefly atop a taxi, kicks off of the light…

And flies through the air, boots first, aimed at Kurt's head, intending to snap a kick at the back of his head, and then use that motion to backflip towards the gurney, towards the second demon and the crash site, before she can snatch away her prey.

I mean… towards TJ.



Normally that which is Talia in a physical sense would have wanted to keep right on moving down the road, likely vaulting clear over Jericho on its way. Because she's nicely stuck in place she simply -stops cold,- though some parts (like her insides) take a very brief moment to catch the memo and stop with the rest of her.

Now, if she had any idea that her 'father' is about to be attacked she would have tried for another teleport run. But, she doesn't. Which means she also doesn't know a certain Laura's headed -her- way a moment later.

What she -does- see, with widened yellow eyes, is Jericho. Tattooed arm and all. "That looked bad, are you okay?! That looked really bad. Nice catch though! We should probably get this out of the street, huh."

On a parkbench nearby a certain brown squirrel sits, and watches. And laughs. Presumably. It can be difficult to tell with those furry little hellions.


Aw, heck… and now Kurt is flanked by two men who are reliving their past few hours at the various street food vendors. His nose wrinkles in the stench, and takes a step forward before he catches the shadow and movement of something coming at a rapid speed towards his head. In the next heartbeat, where Laura fully believed her target to be, it is no longer. The blue fuzzy elf.. demon.. thing is there and gone in a cloud of sulfurous smoke, only to reappear on a similar lampost that TJ had abandoned in her quest for lightfingered (lightpawed) rodents, clinging easily. "Was?" (German!) "What are you doing?"

It's when he catches Laura going after TJ that Nightcrawler pushes forward and off the post, flying through the air with the greatest of ease, holding a hand out for the other be-tailed fuzzy blue elf, Kurt calls out, "Deine hand!" Your hand!

Someone going after his daughter, and someone now in front of her, stopping the gurney- it looks like a good time to try and get the hell (no pun intended!) out of there before someone calls…

"Call 911!"

"What the hell is that thing?!"

"Repent! The end of the world is here and Satan's demons are out in the world!"

"No they're not," Kurt snaps. "Stop th—"


"Ow…" Jericho shakes his arm, which is scraped up a bit. He chuckles a bit ruefully, examining his arm. Crap, she saw his traces. But she doesn't seem to be reacting badly so… probably not an agent. Which is good. He doesn't wanna start lighting off gunfire here on the street.

"You okay there Miss…" He's about to ask her name when shouting - some of it really oddly apocalyptic - draws his attention. Huh?! A second blue fuzzy tailed person?

"Do you know hi-" Once again Jericho cuts off as someone aims a kick at said second blue fuzzy thing. Oh. Crap. Jeri's traces light up, bright blue. Talia can easily see it on his arm and under his shirt.


German. Why would demons be speaking German?

It was one of the languages that Laura had less use for, and thusly, didn't have as good of a grasp on in terms of fluency. Luckily or not, the German used right now was fairly simple. Laura buries her foot into the place where Kurt once was, the momentum she would have used to launch towards TJ ruined.

That was still her intention, however, as Kurt would find out. The crack of bones as her foot was sprained - nearly broken - with that kick causes her a little stumble, Laura leaping up over another car with her good foot (so not nearly getting as much height as she had before) ending up on the trunk before she leaps forward again, in another somersault.

These things teleported, apparently. And spoke German.

It was a puzzle.

By the time her foot hits pavement from her jump off of the car to asphalt again, the edge of the pain of the broken foot was off, and it felt mostly solid beneath her feet. Laura leaps again, bringing her fists up high…

And with the second she takes to descend, that telltale 'snikt' sound might be heard, Laura aiming a double slice down towards Talia's back and shoulders, perhaps, her eyes flickering towards Jericho as she descends. He looked familiar, now that she was closer.


"Better than you are, I think," Talia replies to Jericho's question with a silly grin. It doesn't last, she can hear German being yelled out. There's not a lot of people in this city that speak that sort of German and carry that sulfurous odor about them. She almost misses it within the growing commotion, there's just enough for her to turn around…

…in time to hear a *snikt*…


Where Kurt excels at teleportation, Talia's better trick with Hell involves stealing a small 'charge' of energy right out of it, launching it forward in a concussive blast. To an airborne Laura it would be like taking a full-on roundhouse to the sternum. It's very likely that the snap decision from her years of training with the X-Men, her alternate reality X-Men, is the only thing that keeps her from getting gored by the Little Snikter.

When Kurt passes through she's got a tail ready for him. Handy little things, those tails!

"We can't leave yet I still have to give her back her ring!"


Kurt didn't ask for her tail, but he'll take what he can get! Particularly when someone moves with that sort of speed and ability? It's not a place he wants to be— (nor does he particularly like his perch on the gurney!)

"Teej! Kommen.." and his words are cut off as his fuzzy daughter from another dimension tosses a 'bolt in Laura's general direction, his gaze locked on those lethal looking claws.

That's settled it.. and with a glance at Aspect with featureless yellow eyes, Kurt's gone again, with a passenger, willing or not in the form of Talia.


In the next heartbeat, the pair disappear right before Aspect's eyes, before another attack can be mounted against the pair. They land not too far distant, though far enough that they'll be forewarned (and thus fore-armed) regarding any potential attack. Looking very much like 2 blue gargoyles, they're perched on a fire-escape just above the fray.

"Now," Kurt begins again, "Who is 'her' und what ring?"


A pair of bright Amber wings spring from Jericho's shoulder blades, in motion as Laura launches into the air. Ducking off to the side he leaps up, assisted by the wings themselves and as the hexbolt arcs up toward the snikty one, a wing comes down, batting at her with enough force, hopefully, to give him a minute to react, because he does not move that fast… well, not unless he wants to be a lot more obvious than he's already being.

The wings beat again and he backflips to land atop a taxi-van. One hand disappears into a pocket and comes out with a collapsible baton, the end of which sparks like a taser.

That's when he notices the two blue ones are gone. Solid amber eyes fix Laura. "Okay. What the hell lady?"


The hexbolt does slam into her. A roundhouse was certainly enough to reverse her direction of momentum, her long hair flitting around her like a shroud as she is knocked back and away from Talia, her hands slapping to the sides and away from herself as she was slammed into the side of a car nearby, pain from her bruises lancing up throughout her body.

The ache of a bruise, however, was easier for her to ignore. She was used to a little worse, after all.

Regardless, as her power spirits those wounds away from her, she stands up just a bit shakily regardless, hair fallen in her eyes, leaving just one green eye visible. A taser - it was impossible for anyone with normal systems to resist electricity. Laura tended to recover fast, however.

"You were helping those two abduct people?" she asks, her eyes level on him.

Laura quirks her head to the side, however, at the sound of German pronounciation. Faint. Distant. Her eyes lift and start searching the rooftops and things, arms held at her side - ready to react in case Jericho should press her presumed disadvantage.


Well, this turned into a right mess in short order! Talia and Kurt are clear of the gurney but not completely out of the area, she's not going to let them disappear altogether just yet. Staring down at the street below with wide, solid yellow eyes, she looks a bit further out to the park and points toward a clearing where an elderly woman waits, looking worried. Nervous, perhaps.

"-Her- ring. I'm not going anywhere unless it's closer to her. Poor gal's been through enough already - criminey the gurney-stopper's got wings." Blink. Glance down to Kurt. "What the heck just happened here?"


"Mein Gott.. he has wings?"

Kurt's crouched on the black-paint chipped iron railing, watching the goings on two stories below. His tail wraps about himself for balance, and little else, though the spade-tip does twitch every few seconds. Searching where Talia points, the elder bamfer looks consideringly before brows rise. "Do you have any bamf left in you, or would you like to do this the fun way?" Granted, his idea of 'fun' is probably not shared with 99.99% of the population.

At the question, however, Kurt shakes his head, and adds a shrug. "I'm not entirely certain. I do know that there is a hearse a couple of blocks down that is now crashed. The door must not have been latched properly und.." A three-fingered hand rises and gestures towards the tumult below, "…that happened. Who attacked me? I don't know. Or why."


"I don't actually know who they are." Jericho says. He sees her looking about but he doesn't hear the german. He's more focused on Frau Snikt there than anything else. "Nor do I know who you are. Nor do I think anyone has been abducted since if you will look behind me…" A glance behind him says, yep, there they are, "…You'll see two gentlemen still rather disoriented from… something."

Okay, Jericho's not one hundred percent confident that everything is on the up and up. I mean, riding corpse gurney's is a bit of an odd pass time. But his gut says that the blue ones aren't, at least at first glance, the kinds of people he usually shoots. Or is shot at by.

Laura on the other hand…


Laura wasn't paying too much attention to Jericho - especially when he claims to not know who they were. She still was giving him a sliver of her mind, however, but her eyes were mostly fixated on… there. That fire escape that they were clinging upon. Laura relaxes those muscles in her arms - relaxes them to let her claws slide back into her forearm.

"Perhaps because I scared them off. Perhaps because they thought I would keep chasing them," she says to Aspect, her tone of voice distracted.

Her nose crinkles.

Sniff. Sniff.

Laura tucks her thumbs into her skirt, and starts to head away, her narrowed eyes lingering on the two 'demons'. Would she be able to track them? She doubted it. Particularly if they started warping around again. A pause, though, and she glances to Jericho. "Help… these people," she says, making an open gesture to the vomiting pair, before continuing on her way towards the bottom of the fire escape refuge. It would take her a few moments, however.


"Do you even have to ask?" Talia responds with a question of her own. And a grin. "I already cut it close with that bolt back there, a few seconds sooner and I might not have been able to. If either of them are going to go for a round two then I need as much of me working as possib-ohcrap spikygirl's coming back for us." Which means taking the bamf express!


Back in the park, not too far away from the street, Teej comes bounding over the hedges toward the worried looking eldery woman. Now she's looking incredibly relieved.

"You found it..! Oh gracious, there's two of you."

Coming to stand before the other woman, TJ offers the ring pinched between a chunky thumb and finger. "Squirrels are no match for us, ma'am. Now if you'll excuse me I think we're about to draw some unnecessary attention from the SRD." Or other metas. Or teenage girls with friggin' claws in their friggin' hands.

"Bless you, both of you! You people aren't as bad as everyone else says you are, that gosh darned media's always putting everything in such a bad light."

Mid-bow, TJ glances back to Kurt. "-Now- we can bamf. Y'know. Before we bring about the end of days, and all."


The aid is always welcome, and Kurt will have to find the man again and thank him for the wing-thing. And find out who he is! Thta's not to mention who the young woman with the claws was too.

"Language young la-"


Kurt lands in the park, and the moment the elderly lady spies them, he steps forward, back straight, tail down and out of the way. "Ja.. und it was a pleasure to help, meine gn├Ądige Frau." Offering a hand, he'll bow over hers should she extend it; nothing like a Continental greeting!

Though now, Kurt looks to Talia and nods, a sigh exiting as he does so. "I think you're right. It's time to go. Do you have a concert tonight, or are you coming home with me?" Already he's beginning to walk towards the trees, ready to leap in and do a disappearing act home. It's not too far for the pair in one, two bamfs!


Jericho lets the wings fade and switches off the power. "Well if it's all the same to you, I'm going to…" There she goes. He sighs. "Dump this corpse on someone else. Ugh. Someone better get here soon for it. Maybe an abaulance can drop it off somewhere…" Reaching out for a cell connetion - despite not having a cell phone - Jer rings up the Fire Department non-emergency line as he eyes the two vomiting hearse drivers.

His life…


And Laura's eyes linger on the fire escape where the two elves vanish, her eyes narrowing just a touch further. Lifting her chin up to the air, she sniffs once, twice. But it was just the lingering traces of scent from where they were, not where they are now.

That was annoying as hell. No pun intended.

Laura turns down the alleyway, all thoughts of enjoying the day ruined, perhaps, her eyes lingering on a homeless person who was staring at her, likewise looking up at the spot where the related mutants had been.

Laura just walks past the man, her eyes a bit intense - staring at nothing ahead of herself as she steps firmly along the alley. Perhaps she should hunt - and discover just what is going on here.


"What..!" Talia protests belatedly to Kurt regarding her 'language.' For real! "Gees Dad, you -have- heard my singing, haven't you?" Though it's entirely debatable if he could understand a word of what she's singing when she gets into it.

Speaking of, there's about to be a lot more of it. "Yeah, gig at the Thorn tonight. Feel free to stick around, if your innocent ears can handle some proper noise. We're playing an Insekticide cover, gonna be killer - er..too soon..?"

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