Hell, Boy!

September 03, 2014: Hellboy swings by the Triskelion for a meet and greet.

The Triskelion

SHIELD's headquarters based in NYC.



  • Various unnamed agents.

Mood Music:

Hellboy called ahead! Using the number provided by Paul Manning, he gave SHIELD references at the BPRD who could attest to his expertise and made an appointment with Maria Hill. ("Alright, Agent Helbowie. What's your first name?" "First name? Lady, I'm red!" "There's no need to get agitated. Red Helbowie, three o'clock.") So there's absolutely no way there will be any misunderstandings or awkward moments as the eight foot red man with a tail slumps through the doors into the lobby of the Triskelion. He's taken precautions.


The Triskelion's seen all manner of peculiar sights. Usually..they don't walk in through the front doors. What could be viewed as a hive of men and women dressed in white and black suddenly becomes interrupted by the giant splotch of crimson standing within the lobby, which in turn causes many fast-moving agents to slowly come to a halt as they stare at the creature with the tail.

The woman behind the front counter is first to speak, doing so slowly and with a bit of care. 'Red' and 'three o'clock' all line up, so she takes the chance at putting two and two together. "Agent 'Helbowie?'" she inquires, though beneath the desk she's already got a finger on the button for security detail. Because -damn.-


Turning heads wherever he goes — HB just can't help it. Everybody's so friendly — they've all taken a moment out of their busy day to make him feel welcome! He returns looks where he can, giving the rubberneckers what he imagines is a reassuring grin.

He slows to a stop at the reception counter, slouched so that he towers marginally less that he would otherwise. "Uh. It's 'Hellboy.' I think the guy who made me that appointment was French or something." He wasn't French. "I'm supposed to see Maria Hill? About some paranormal sightings you guys have been dealing with?"


The receptionist's eyes remain wide, partly because it's a quality which they tend to have by default and partly because ..well. Yeah. Her head starts to incline in what might be a nod if not for the motion being aborted before it can make the return trip down. "Ooone moment please." She's still watching the red guy quite intently when she reaches up to a headset nesting around one of her ears. "Miss Hill? Your three o'clock is here."

There's a short pause before her hand comes away and points down a nearby hall. "Meeting room four, just to the left."

From one side another man starts to walk into the lobby and stops quickly enough to mimic someone grabbing him by the back of the shoulder. He looks at the creature, blinks, then holds up his coffee mug and eyes it suspiciously.


Hellboy keeps smiling, and it keeps not being the comforting expression he thinks it is. "Thanks," he answers. His voice tends toward a thunderous boom when left to its own devices, so he habitually keeps his tone hushed; the word might be tough to make out. He shuffles in the direction indicated, his exposed hooves tapping on the marble floors.

He has to bow his head to get through the meeting room door. Once inside, he's at loose ends: a single glance is enough to dismiss the frail little swivel chairs inside as an option. He continues to stand, looking around expectantly. The BPRD doesn't usually stand on this kind of ceremony, but then, they're nowhere near as well funded as SHIELD.


Hill is, for once, already waiting in the meeting room. She's got a dataslate in one hand and a coffee of her own in the other, the latter of which nearly gets spat out when she first catches sight of her guest of the day. It's quickly followed with a muttered "Lord almighty."

She'll just..recompose herself real quick, here… Okay.

"Agent Red," she tries again. 'Red' is a lot more difficult to screw up than 'Helbowie,' which she's starting to suspect is not the correct name at all. "I can see why you got involved with the BPRD."

Very gently setting her mug aside, she adds "I'm sure you guys have been informed that we're not accustomed to dealing with the paranormal supernatural demonic whatevers around here. The playground's rapidly changing, which means you people are about to get a lot of extra work."

Oh, and thanks for stopping by.


"Yeah, I kinda figured that," Red answers, hooking the oversized thumb of his stone right hand over his shoulder to indicate the crowd out in the lobby. "I think I made an impression." He hates making an impression.

"Good news for you, though: dealing with paranormal crap so you guys don't have to is my whole deal. I hear you're having Loki issues — already got a pretty good idea where he's laying low." He reaches into one of his coat pockets with his left hand and retrieves a flower that looks like a daisy, except that the petals match his skin color. "Did Manning tell you guys about these? Handy for spotting the guy through his illusions."

He reaches into the coat pocket again and pulls out a cheap cigar and an antique Zippo. "Mind if I smoke?"


"I don't doubt it," Hill idly remarks. Maybe it's not something which he enjoys doing but it's also something that he's not likely to be able to avoid. Just one of those friendly little facts of life.

When Loki is mentioned, and the flower is revealed, Hill nods once and sets the dataslate upon the glass table. "As a matter of fact I have seen those. I even have one of my own. It might see more use but I get tired of passing out infractions every time someone makes a joke about me coming back from a trip to Hawaii."

When the Zippo comes out, and the cigar, Hill looks slightly apprehensive. "I'd really rather you didn't. I violate enough codes around here as it is. We can make this quick, however. There's Loki, there's a woman named Illyana, there's whatever was going on with a house up in Queens the other night, it's a paranormal shitstorm out there and I'm none too happy about it."

First thing's first, though. Where normally she would lean forward upon the table she refrains for once, simply due to Hellboy's impressive height. "You know where Loki's hiding? Care to go for the Daily Double and tell me that you have a plan on how to deal with him?"


Hellboy pauses with the cigar already in his lips, then sighs dramatically and puts it away. Sign of the times — they never told him not to smoke indoors back in the fifties.

"Loki's a trickster, like Anansi or Coyote," Hellboy says, pronouncing 'trickster' with a pained twang. "A royal pain in the ass, basically, because they break all the normal rules. But there is sort of an exception for games and puzzles." He shrugs his shoulders under his shabby brown coat. "Those are pretty much the only 'rules' they'll take seriously, although they do like to find loopholes. If I can draw Loki into some kind of game, I might be able to use it to keep him from causing any more trouble."

"The house up in Queens, by the way, is where I saw him last," he adds. "I know the girl who owns it. I may be able to talk some sense into her."


"I've witnessed this first-hand," Hill confirms regarding the breaking of rules. And laws. Like the laws of physics. That one simply will not stand. The rest of the explanation isn't nearly so obvious to her, white-gloved hands settling upon black-clad hips as she regards the demon agent. It's a most curious development, if it's true, but it's also troubling in its own right.

"You want to play a -game- with the God of Chaos?" Because that sounds like a fantastic idea! "You may have noticed this by now, Red, but we're all a little out of our league when it comes to dealing with grumpy Asgardians. While I don't doubt that you've got a few tricks of your own, just how confident are you that you can out-smart this guy? Because I'm not a big fan of hearing 'games' involving a god, a demon, and a very densely populated city."

Wait, wait… "He's in -Queens?- Oh, then go right ahead," she dismisses with a brief flick of her hand.


"Demon?" Hellboy's head rises up in weary affrontery. "That's not a very nice thing to just assume about a person." He has feelings down below that red, cloven-hooved, tail-and-horns, decidedly demonic exterior, thank you very much!

Her crack about Queens, though, lowers his hackles again, and he lets out a low, rumbling chuckle. "I'm not gonna outsmart the guy. I may not even win the game. The idea is for the rules of the game themselves to stop him from causing any serious damage." Another eloquent shrug. "Lying and stealing, you're just gonna have to deal with, but serious destruction and killings? Maybe something I can stop."

He reaches up with his stone hand to scratch at his exposed chest. "So, what about these other problems of yours? You said 'Illyana' — sounds Russian. I know some Russian myths. Pretty nice guys, some of 'em."


Hill meets the creature's look with an unblinking stare. "Your name -is- Hellboy, isn't it?" The receptionist commed back to give her that update somewhere along the way. Yay, prompt communication! "If you were so sensitive about it then you should have picked a different name."

That deep chuckle helps to disarm the Deputy Director somewhat, as well. While she doesn't try to make it a widely known fact, truth is that she is a religious sort. All of this exposure to Hell and demons and whatever the heck has been something of a trial for her. By comparison superpowers and metahumans are by far easier to mentally digest.

"I'll accept that as a start. Just the other day I watched him flip a car through the air without ever laying so much as a finger on the hood. God knows no one else pays attention to the traffic signals in this city but my money is generally on the car and not the ignorant fool crossing its path. It gets in Darwin's way." But, that's another matter. "If you've got an idea, I'm all ears."

There is time to discuss the other matter, all the same. "Yes, Illyana. Supposed overseer, or ruler, or whatever, over some other dimension. She seems reserved but she's also in charge of a whole reality full of demons, if her word is to be believed. She's not stepped out of line yet but she's well in my radar. If she gets a bug up her backside I don't know that we'll be able to appropriately respond."

It's never something which she wants to admit, either.


"You'd have to take that up with dad," Hellboy says with a quiet snort, implying that 'Hellboy' is his given name. Apparently 'dad' was either pretty literal-minded or had an odd sense of humor. For someone who looks like he does, the BPRD agent sure seems to have a peculiar background.

"I'm not worried about winning a fight with the guy, car-flipping or no. I can take a lot more damage than one of those modern Japanese pieces of crap anyway." Not a Toyota driver, then. Who would have guessed? "I'm thinking finesse-off. Snooty wannabe royalty love that stuff. I fight monsters and he does whatever he does while attempting to create as little destruction as possible. I'll probably lose" — big shocker, there — "but in the meantime, the city's relatively safe, and in order to score points, he has to tell me what he did without blowing anybody up. It buys time, and it might give us an idea of his plans."

Hill's description of Illyana earns a sour look and sarcasm. "Demon royalty? Great. My favorite. You got an address for her dark queenlyhood?"


Hmmh. Taking it up with dad. Something about the comment strikes a chord with Hill. Without any sense of hesitation she drops the matter with "Let's stick with 'Red.'" It's almost like she understands where he's coming from.

Besides, she's got deeper matters to focus on. It's sounding like a very complex, and calculated, risk versus reward in handling the Asgardian. 'Winning' by strategic losing. "Sounds tricky. And you're comfortable with the idea of taking the fall if you lose? You could potentially be putting a lot on the line, here. I'm betting that he's not going to give you a second chance, either. I'm not happy with the situation but if you believe that it will help save lives and keep the rampant destruction down then I'll exercise a little trust with your department. Right now we need all of the help we can get."

Switching back to Illyana, Hill shakes her head. "Took us weeks of searching to reach her. In the end it was officer Paul Manning of the NYPD that managed to get word through for us. It would seem that she spends most of her time at 'home' rather than hanging around friendly ol' Earth. I'll take that as a good thing."


Hellboy shrugs, scratching at his belly again. "Loki's a trickster, not a devil. He's not gonna care about my soul or anything like that. I'll try to work out something with decent terms, but I'm thinking at worst I'll end up on some dumb quest for a stupid trinket that nobody really needs." He's playing it cavalier, but he has seriously considered some of the things Loki might ask of him, and the terms he will and won't agree to. "I can come up with a backup plan if this one's no good."

With a nod, he answers, "I've met Manning. I don't think he likes me much." He grimaces. "Actually, spending more time in hell than on Earth is probably a bad sign. Normal people live on Earth and don't want to blow it up. It's the ones who aren't attached to the world that don't care much about destroying it."


Hill could probably sit around and poke the discussion full of holes all night long. It's about Loki, after all! However, here is a guy (demon) that is willing to do the actual legwork, regardless of the cost. Would she really want to try and talk him out of it?


"If we can assist, we will. I'll make sure that you'll be able to reach me." Rather than stand in the lobby and interrupt half of the entire blasted Division. Time wasted for all, right there.

Then for some more bad news. "Fantastic," she sarcastically drawls while letting her arms loosely drop to her sides. With a sigh, she thinks "Good to know, I guess. As it stands I think Manning is about to get himself a round-trip to Limbo with her, he claims to be in possession of some sort of artifact known as Rapture. Considering how he reacted the last time I saw him bump into something ..of similar origin as you, I'm not surprised that you'd get that impression."

"Several of us, myself included, witnessed him transforming into something else as he reached for another man's throat, just because he could 'smell' it on him. Even though he's our best link to Illyana I would recommend exercising some caution around him. I do not know how much control he has over Rapture yet, which is what we're all hoping to find out with this field trip."


Hellboy snorts and raises one shelf-like brow at Hill. "If you'd seen the guys I usually tangle with, you'd know that a skinny little cop with a fancy necklace isn't exactly gonna scare me off. I'll keep an eye on him, though, if it'll make you happy. I'm just worried he won't share his donuts with me."

The demon takes a deep breath and hums thoughtfully. "Maybe I should meet up with this Illyana, see if I can arrange a trip of my own. Hell dimensions suck, but maybe if I get a look at hers, I can let you know what to expect." And probably turn down yet another 'help us take over the world!' recruitment pitch. Demons never learn.


Hill holds her hands out in an 'after you' sort of gesture. If he's alright with the situation then she'll certainly give it to him. With a smirk. "If donuts are your biggest concern then I'd say we're coming out of this ahead of the game."

Here's another offer which she's not about to turn down. "I had considered making the trip myself, though there's a whole number of different reasons telling me that it's not going to happen. If you want to go, I'm not about to stand in your way." Besides, that sounds like it would be quite painful.

"Your assistance in these matters is appreciated, Red. I'll keep the BPRD up to date if anything significant changes. Or if we happen to find yet another paranormal crisis on our hands. Wouldn't put it past the Tri-Cities for a second," she mutters in a dark tone, frowning slightly as she reaches back for her coffee.


Hellboy nods. "Sounds good. Oh — I've got business cards." He has business cards! It takes him a minute to find them among all the pockets in his coat and belt, but eventually he hands one over, using his normally proportioned left hand. "Call me if anything comes up. Like, actually up, out of the underworld. I do ghosts and vampires, too."

Without further ado, he tosses the Deputy Director a casual salute and heads back out, nearly causing a techie to go through a wall in her mad scramble to avoid the hellbeast emerging from Meeting Room Four.

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