Harley's Revenge

Summary:
October 27, 2014: After her embarrassment over the rumours that she was dating Robin, Harley gets her revenge. Revenge is, apparently, a dish best served with ice cream and laughter.

Gotham City, Burnley district

A dark street by the Ace Chemical Plant


Characters

NPCs
Gathering crowd of spectators


Mood Music:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=m5csNO3oMrQ


Harley went to see Darcy first. She ransacked her apartment, stuffed any clothes that even remotely resembled Harley's theme down the garbarator, and then threatened the young woman at gun point. Until they bonded over how dumb Robin is for mistaking Darcy for the sheer awesome that is Harley.

Now that she no longer blames Darcy, that means all the culpability is on Robin's shoulders. The little twerp usually patrols every night and luckily without the Bat. Moldy Oldie Batman. Harley makes a face at the thought of the geriatric bat.

In the middle of the road in Burnley, close to the ACE Chemical Plant, which is a Joker hotspot, Harley has set up a roadblock of an ice cream truck upon which she is lounging on the roof all femme fatale like.

*

VROOM VROOM

The Redbird rounds the corner, speeding down the alley with all of the force expected from the sporty, armoured car. Patrol tonight is on the ground, just checking out the sights of Gotham to get a feel for each of the goings-on and whether they require intervention. It's early enough that Tim hasn't had to stop many times at all aside to break up a theft and a drug ring.

Quiet by all accounts.

The street here is particularly dark, causing Robin to squint as he watches the pavement in front of him. He flashes his high beams once to get a better look, only to see an ICE CREAM TRUCK in the middle of the road.

He curses and slams on the brakes.

SCREEEEECH

The car burns rubber, leaving long tire marks across pavement behind it. "Uh. Oracle. I may need back up…" he states into his comlink before undoing his safety belt.

The door opens and Robin steps out. "Harley," his hands trail to his belt. "I thought you were above playing in traffic…'

*

Her head propped up in one hand as she lays on her side on the roof of the ice cream truck, Harley pouts seductively at Robin while her other hand traces lines on the wall of the truck. "And here I thought you'd appreciate me bringing the ice cream to you. After all, it's in all the papers. Dating girls that are cheap knock-offs of the genuine article."

She sits up and spins her legs around to let them fall over the edge of the roof. She swings her legs from side to side girlishly as she keeps her hands at her side, leaning forward. Today's Harley is one of her more dangerous varieties if the outfit is anything to go by. Skintight leather follows her usual black and red theme, her blonde hair showing as well as her midriff, baring her tattoo on her hip of a pair of cards that bear her likeness and that of her Puddin.

*

There's a long pause as Tim watches her move and his hands trail back to his belt. Robin takes a single step forward and then rolls his eyes. "It wasn't a date. I have a girlfriend," he reiterates for the upteenth time. Pause. "She isn't a clown. And she doesn't dress like you. I was helping that other lookalike get home — "

He takes a single step forward and then stops. He watches her attentively, not quite sure what to expect as she moves about. "Get the ice cream truck out of the street," he repeats as he takes a single step backwards. The notion of approaching with caution is imperative at this moment. "Someone is going to get hurt," he's not pushing for a tussle yet. "Come on. We'll get you back to Arkham," oh. There it is.

*

When he mentions Arkham, there is a flare of anger in Harley's baby blues. She was willing to just torment the birdbrain, but then he had to go and insinuate that she's crazy.

Harley leans back, letting herself lay down on the roof of the truck with only her feet dangling down. When she sits up, she is holding a rocket launcher and pointing it at Robin. And yes, the rocket is painted with a Joker face. "Not funny, boy blunder!"

That's all the warning he gets before she pulls the trigger, aiming for the Redbird.

*

Oh Robin most definitely believes that Harley is crazy. And the use of the rocket launcher really isn't inspiring any contradictory information. It's fortunate he has quick reflexes, Robin hits the deck, leaping and rolling to the left, thankful that he didn't skip leg day.

He leaps and rolls, tucking into a little ball as the rocket hits the Redbird. The armoured vehicle takes the rocket launcher, causing it to spiral several times over in the air.

BOOM!

The car flips three times, roof collapsing into the rest of the vehicle once. Twice. Three times.

Robin straightens and reaches for his grappling gun. It's promptly fired towards the clown lady to try to catch the Joker-painted rocket launcher.

*

Hey, the damage is done! Harley lets out a cheer as the birdmobile flips and crunches. When the grappling hook latches onto the now empty rocket launcher, she lets him have it, simply letting go so it can fly to him. It would take more time to reload it anyway.

Instead, she pushes herself up into a backflip to end up standing on the clown bespangled truck. The music it's playing is likely starting to annoy Robin, but Harley seems to like it as she dances to the tune of The Entry of the Gladiators, wiggling her hips playfully. But the fun for Robin isn't over yet. No no. Harley has more on that roof with her then just the rocket launcher as she bends down and picks up an Uzi with the word BANG! written on the side.

*

Tim curses as he takes the rocket launcher and releases it moments later, dropping it to the ground. The grappling gun, however, is aimed high seconds later, and shot for the highest rooftop in Robin's sights, which, all things considered isn't all that high. He fires the hook and presses the button, drawing himself upwards.

He's incredibly thankful to be decked out in kevlar at this moment, not that it'll help him much if he doesn't put any distance between him and the clown lady.

Robin mutters into his comlink again, "Seriously, a little backup would be really great right now — I'd settle for Gotham PD."

*

As Robin goes and flies away (well, more like zips away with the sound of cable being quickly retracted back into the grappling hook device), Harley grumbles. He just had to go and make it so she can't just shoot him. Spoilsport. She sighs, a hand on her hip as she cocks the other to the side, resting the Uzi on the cocked hip.

"Well, ya know what they say, Birdie. One in the hand is worth two in the bush!" Harley yells and then looks confused. "No… wrong bird saying… Ummm… Don't count yer chickens? No, that's not it either. Well! Just imagine I said something witty about annoying birds!" She grabs something else out of her bag of tricks. Joker grenades.

Pulling the pin, she lets it fly to the last place she saw Robin with frightening power and accuracy. Damn Poison Ivy for giving her those injections and making Harley super human. She was only annoying before. Now, Harley could actually be dangerous if she ever got it in her head to be so. Like now.

*

Robin ascertains a few things very quickly:
1. Getting himself out of shooting range was a good decision.
2. Letting himself be subjected to Harley's ridiculous accuracy? Not so awesome.

He presses the button on his grappling gun to release as he hasn't quite made it to the rooftop. It's unfortunate, mostly because Robin isn't actually a bird and he can't actually fly. "Fall with style," he murmurs, repeating Darcy's words as his cape catches the air underneath it just enough that he doesn't break anything when he hits the ground, but not slow to as NOT fall with the landing.

He rolls on the ground and continues to do so as he reaches into his belt, extracting three gas pellets which he tosses in Harley's direction. At least he may be able to throw her off.

"Oracle? Oracle, can you hear me? I need a fire truck to the sixteen hundred block to Burnley — they're going to have a hell of a time getting by. Harley on an ice cream truck has set up a blockade — "

*

The grenade turns out to be of the thermite variety. And once again, it seems that Harley wasn't actually aiming for Robin himself but for the roof he was going to land on. The roof begins to blaze, the tar and stucco roofing catching quickly. "Oooooh! Pretty!"

She tosses a second grenade in her hand, up and down as she watches the boy blunder fall with style. "Batter up, Birdie!" she calls out before letting the second one fly. The gas pellets land around her on the roof, filling the air with acrid smoke. Oh yeah, like the Joker, she's immune to poisons and such. She coughs and waves a hand in the air to try to be able to see through the smoke. "I thought the song went 'Robin laid an egg', not that Robin let one rip! What have you been eating?!"

The grenade that lands by Robin's feet explodes into a shower of rainbow confetti.

*

Oracles head snaps up as Robins communication is received. Green eyes narrowing, her glasses lit by the glow from her screens, her hands fly across her console. There! Robins location appears in a window and confirms his request. Requests sent to the Fire Brigade and police. "Robin, This is Oracle, Sitrep now. Over" her voice will be a digital echo of the real thing.

*

A brilliant myriad of green, blue, pink, purple, and yellow explodes across Robin's uniform, prompting the Boy Wonder's lips to deadpan into a very neutral, very unimpressed line. "Oracle, Harley Quinn has set up a blockade with an ice cream truck. She shot a rocket launcher at the RedBird. Car is out of commission. A building is now on fire. She's dressed in leather. More mayhem to ensue. Over."

The gas pellets were definitely not the pellets Robin had intended to toss. "Geez," he mutters to himself. Get your head in the game. He reaches back into the belt and extracts three smoke pellets this time. All he wants is a veneer between him and the shooting-happy clown princess.

*

Now that the proper smoke pellets have been thrown at her, the ice cream truck is hard to see among all the smoke. Harley growls and starts shooting, letting the bullets fly where they may. Sure, she can't see in all the smoke and the likelihood of hitting Robin is slim, but she might get lucky. And besides, it makes a lot of noise, so it's all good.

"Next time ya want a date with a lady clown, ask yer imaginary girlfriend ta play dress up and leave my good name outta the papers, Birdie!'

*

Pulling up the appropriate video feeds, Oracle gains a visual on the situation. What a mess, the smoke from the pellets obscures the view but it's clear that Harley (and probably Robin) are creating mayhem together.

Again Oracles hands fly across the console, a window appears on her console and a series of commands entered. Back at the building, Robin may hear the fire sprinkles sputter to life in the building. "Robin, Oracle, Fire Brigade and Police alerted. Building sprinkler systems activated. Over"

Her green gaze now analyses the area seeking other diversions to throw at the leather clad Harley.

*

PING PING PING

Gunfire ricochets off various metal surfaces as Harley shoots blindly into the smoke. Robin, for his part, uses the ice cream truck and its angles as his shield against the gunfire. He slides against the truck, and gets as close to its box as possible. "Switching to infrared," he mutters to the comlink so he can see through the smoke he's just created.

Gloved fingers reach for the small silver cylinder at his belt and he gives it a good yank. With an abrupt shake, the bo staff reaches the full extension of its height and he slips away from the vehicle. With a few solid swings, he aims to knock Harley off her feet.

*

There is a reason why girls are taught in self defense classes to yell 'Fire' instead of 'Rape' or 'Help'. The latter two actually seems to make people run away, where as everyone loves to see a fire. Harley, in one of her more lucid moments, would tell you that it is part of our primal natures that attracts us to the flames. And while the sprinklers are now on in the building, dousing the flames proves difficult with the tar and stucco roof and the cans of paint thinner inside the building. Harley really couldn't have picked a better target.

And so, a crowd is starting to form around the edges of the fight. The two sidekicks are playing. Aren't they cute? Maybe someday, they'll grow up to be real villians and heroes.

Robin's staff hits Harley's ankle and sends her falling off of the van. ONTO Robin!

*

Back in the Clocktower, Oracle has set off the building alarms. Watching as Harley falls onto Robin and noting the gathering crowd, Oracle shakes her head. In the smokey environment, flashes from cameras cand be seen to go off and Oracle, settling back in her chair, waits for Robins next update.

*

Robin topples to the ground at the unexpected Harley that is now on top of him. The flashes of camera phones only cause his face to flush red as he attempts to gain the upper hand by literally twisting to get on top of her, which oddly looks like he's embracing Harley Quinn in his arms with his gloved hands holding her wrists downward. If there ever were a photo a fellow didn't want his girlfriend to see, this might be it.

He reaches for the bo staff which had fallen in the topple, but can't quite get it without moving off his target so he leaves it alone, relying on only his bat-training to keep him level. At least a toppled Harley is unarmed? Maybe. "Oracle, I need another set of hands. Are Nightwing, Batgirl, or Spoiler anywhere close?!"

*

Looking down at Robin as he blushes under the mask, Harley giggles. "You know? That fake me was right. You are fun ta make blush!" She starts giggling again but it soon turns into a yelp of surprise as she is rolled over onto her back and pinned. "You really need to see a therapist about this repressed coulrophilia you have goin on. It just so happens I'm a trained therapist myself!"

Seeing the flashing lights, Harley gets a grin on her face that can only described as devilish. "Smile for the camera, Birdie," she tells him before wrapping her legs around his waist to keep him close to her and pulling her hands away from him to give him a huge Bugs Bunny style kiss, complete with sound effects. "Hey, if I'm gonna do the time, I might as well have done the crime, yanno?"

*

Watching the video feeds, Oracle laughs as the leather clad Harley wraps her legs around Robins waist. "Robin, Oracle, Yes I can see you need another pair of hands at least, but none are available. You're going to have do this one on your own. Over"

*

Robin, for his part, turns five shades of red at the legs that wrap around his waist. While he was blushing before, his ears, neck, and possibly beyond underneath his uniform have all turned a very bright fire-red. While Superman's weakness is kryptonite, Tim's is a penchant for embarrassment mixed with a myriad of inexperience. The combination is nearly deadly for him.

He wriggles between Harley's hold, which probably only adds fuel to the proverbial fire that is Tim's face. His hands reach for her wrists to hold her down and then she's kissing him. Even if it's a Bugs Bunny kiss, it does little to subdue Tim's mortification. "This isn't going to stop the rumour mill," he hisses in an effort maintain some measure of professionalism.

His attempts to hold her down are carried through again after the kiss.

Someone in the crowd cat whistles.

Robin may never be normal coloured again.

Now he really needs to invest in a new uniform.

*

Pinned by Robin, Harley seems rather subdued, shrugging her shoulders as she lets him wriggle on top of her. "But ya see, the difference here is *I'm* in control. I don't mind the rumours about ya datin' me if *I'm* the one that starts them." She evilly grinds up against him, yelling out for the crowd. "Oh Robin! My Darling! Not in front of all these people! What if the Joker finds out! I couldn't bear it if he hurt you, my sweet angel!"

You would think that the crowd would be able to see right through the melodramatic performance, but no. They eat it up. More cameras flare, more cat calls and whistles. Someone yells something about wanting to see the clown with her top off. Harley grins from ear to ear. "Told ya coulrophilia was a thing," she taunts under him, not fighting at all now but just gloating as she tortures the poor young man.

*

Of course Oracle doesn't get the whole scene, just the video feeds, but that's enough for her eyes to widen. "Robin, Oracle, looks things are getting a bit hard. Use your training and finish this. Over"

*

Mortified Nation. Robin's brain implodes at the theatrics going on under and around him. He gapes at the notion of taking Harley's top off. But then the voice in his head is getting him back to mission. He twists around, cranking his body around to catch his elbow against Harley's head. He's on top and theoretically has the upper hand here, he just needs to get her to release. "Oracle, that better not be a euphemism for anything — " Tim scolds.

*

Squirming ensues and Harley finds herself on the ground with her head pinned between the ground and Birdbrain's elbow. "Ow! Ow! Hey! Leave the rough stuff for your imaginary girlfriend!" She bats at him with one hand, trying to get Robin off of her. "Is Oracle flirtin' with ya on yer headset? You two timin' pervert! You said you loved me!" Yep, she's still hamming it up for the crowd.

*

Sitting forward in her chair, Oracle sees Robin ineffectually try to get Harley to let go. The sirens from the Fire brigade and GPD are drawing closer, the couple on the ground will hear this. "Robin, Oracle, a euphemism for what? Would you finish this now. Over."

*

"That's it!" Tim utters, smashing his elbow against Harley's head again. Yeah, Robin is slipping out of mortification into downright angry. He pries himself away from her and pushes her face down to the ground and, with a single hand reaches into his utility belt for his infamous zip ties.

He quickly ties up her wrists and then, with a glance towards the now dead Redbird, pushes her towards the Ice Cream truck. Yup, he's going to cart Harley Quinn back to Arkham Asylum in an ice cream truck.

*

Of course, the same injection from Poison Ivy that makes Harley super strong and immune to toxins also makes her able to take a punch. Having her head hit so hard that it bounces on the pavement gets little more then an "Oww! Save the rough stuff for Thursdays, Robbie! You know Mondays are PDA night!" She is snickering happily, not even protesting when she is tied up and shoved into the ice cream truck. She sticks her head out to yell out at the crowd. "Remember! The name is Harley Quinn. H A R L E Y! We're gonna go now so Robin can go rev his Harley, if ya get my meanin! Toodles!!" As the truck drives off, a very grumpy Robin behind the wheel, insane, rauctious laughter can be heard from within.


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