Beer is NOT a Food Group

Summary:
November 1, 2014: The day after the events in Psychos on Skates, May asks Darcy what happened.

The Triskelion


Characters

NPCs

  • none

Mood Music:
[*none]


Email sent. Email received. Get to base. Time for a debrief. YAY! …ugh. Darcy makes her way in, and heads to the break room first. She's going to need some coffee for this.

~

Melinda May doesn't drink coffee. She hates coffee. Thus, she's waiting in the pre-arranged small conference room for Lewis to arrive. She's got (hopefully) all the necessary forms queued up on a tablet, but for once she's not going to berate the young woman for any tardiness. Sounds like she's had a rough enough go of it already. She takes up the time waiting with filling out as much of the various forms as she can without Darcy's input, you know, to save a little time.

~

Nothing for it. Any later and the debrief could turn ugly. Oh, but herding catlike scientists is more pleasant. Darcy makes her way into the conference room, and settles into a chair without her usual snark or bounce or loudness.

~

Melinda May looks at Darcy for a long moment before activating the small digital recorder she's in the habit of using for debriefs, then asks with her usual deadpan demeanor, "Begin at the beginning."

~

"I left work, got home, and the place was a mess. Lights didn't work. She was sitting on my sofa with roller skates on her feet and a gun pointed at my head," Darcy says, sounding fatigued as she stares into her coffee like it was a crystal ball.

"She told me she incinerated all the clothes in my closet that have even a passing resemblance her motiff. She asked me why I was smearing her name, and I told her that it wasn't my fault or intention. I went to Gotham to watch a derby match. She got emotional because apparently Mr. Chuckles is her boyfriend and even he thought I was her for a bit. She started crying, so i gave her a beer. We started talking derby. She mentioned wanting to change her life I bit. I said it seemed like a good idea and was going to invite her to practice, maybe, after I had a chance to let SHIELD know she was there since I couldn't call you guys while she still had a loaded gun in my face. And then she said she was going to kill Robin."

~

Melinda May watches Darcy and listens to her store seemingly dispassionately. "So she did all of that because you were wearing a similar outfit." Wow. That's … she and the Clown really ARE well suited for each other. "Go on."

~

"That's what she said. She was distraught that I didn't know who she was, and that I got mistaken for her by people who apparently know her. She left after threatening Robin. I finished my beer, waited for the lights to come back on, but finally gave up and went to the starbucks with my laptop to send the email," Darcy says, sinking into her chair with a pout as she stares at the coffee.

~

Melinda May nods, then spends a few moments tapping at the tablet. "Have you eaten dinner, Lewis?" She knows it's pretty late, but there are all-night eateries near the Triskelion, and getting some food into the recruit will give others in HQ time to process and prepare a spare set of quarters for Darcy to stay in temporarily.

~

"Does beer count? Cause I had a beer. And coffee. i think," Darcy babbles, almost like herself. Almost. She has bags under her eyes and is still in the work clothes she had been in when she got to work early that morning.

~

"No. Beer doesn't count." She turns off the little recorder and leaves it and the tablet on the table as she moves to stand. "Come on." Fully expecting Darcy to follow, May leaves the conference room and in short order they're on their way to one of the nearby eateries. Asian, of course.

~

"Pfft. Beer should totally be a food group. Or part of grain. It's a grain, right?" Darcy carries on as she follows May out to get some Pho King Noodles. Okay, maybe not, but it sounds funny in her brainmeat.

~

"Was it Guiness? If not, then it doesn't count as food." And really, Bun vermicelli is sounding pretty good to her right now. As soon as they've ordered and are settled at a table, she says almost conversationally, "Something I forgot to ask back in the conference room: who is 'Robin'?"

~

Darcy makes a face at the beer suggested by May. "Ugh. I like drinking not having a beer smoothie," Darcy says before peering over the menu and ordering her own meal.

"You remember the guy in the mask and cape I was having ice cream with?" Which is a whole OTHER story.

~

Melinda May nods. "The young man who tried to shatter my knee with his staff." Naw, May's not holding a grudge at all, what makes you say that? "He left the scene before backup arrived. Do you know if he's recovered from that gas?" Holy crap, is that actual concern?

~

"No idea. He didn't give me his number. Which sucks, cause now I can't fess up to him so he can watch his back. I mean, if she off's him what will happen to his car?" Darcy snarks, because food has arrived and she's starting to feel better.

~

Melinda May nods slowly. She's considering her contacts in the Gotham area (very few, considering REASONS), and wondering if they might know this Robin's whereabouts. And no, she's not wanting to track him down to get back at him for trying to kick her ass. Though that would be a bonus. She knows he was under the influence of the same thing as Darcy, and is reasonably concerned. REally.

~

Really. This is our believing you face, May. Really.

"I could…. head back over and… I don't know… troll ice cream shops?" Darcy asks on a shrug.

~

Melinda May's expression hardens at that. "No. Do not go back anywhere near there. Is that understood?" She essentially glares at Darcy for several seconds before drawing back slightly and picking at her food again.

~

"Yeah yeah. Crazy dangerous," Darcy drawls, because Robin tried to give her that lecture. The purple cat and Obnoxious Boy didn't help matters.

"….Got any other ideas?"

~

"I do. Might be able to get a message through using a contact I know." Of course, May's never ASKED anything of Oracle, so she has no idea if the disembodied voice will even give her the time of day outside of a combat situation. But still, it's worth a try.

~

Darcy nods, having learned by now not to poke Ninja Nanny about these sorts of things. Plus, the sudden food injection is nudging Darce toward food coma.

"Okay, then. …Herding scientists is easier than this," she comments.

~

Melinda May is quiet for a moment before offering, "It depends on the scientists." Heaven knows, Simmons and Fitz seem like a pretty decent handful.

~

"Heh. That's for sure, but really. You try getting a conference load of astrophysists to focus on something other than potential quasar activity within a few hundred lightyears," Darcy snickers. "I bet after that, I could herd any egg-heads."

~

"That's easy." May finishes her meal. "Just threaten to take away their caffeine." That works on Coulson, anyway.

~

Laughing Darcy nods. "Or their very own ass-guardian," Darcy snarks, feeling more herself now that she's eaten.

~

Melinda May quirks an eyebrow at that, but after a moment decides to not bother asking. "Ready to go back?" She stands and steps over to the counter to pay for both of their meals.

~

"Yeah. I'm wiped," Darcy says, getting to her feet with effort, and following May. She's reaching for her purse to pay, only to thank the Agent when she picks up the tab.

~

Melinda May nods and leads the way back to the Triskelion. Once there, she takes Darcy to a different floor and corridor than she's likely seen before, pausing at the guard desk at the beginning of the hallway. After speaking with the guards there briefly and accepting a keycard from them, she gestures for Lewis to follow and takes her to one of several nearly identical doors.


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