Expert on Everything

Summary:
December 09 2014: Bobby needs a generalist expert. There's only one person to call.

42nd Street Coffee Shop

This coffee shop has seen a lot of X-Men of late, not that they necessarily know that.


Characters

NPCs

  • None

Mood Music:
[* None]


There is… a certain man. An X-Man. Perhaps An X-Men is a better term though. When you need a guy who might know a little bit about anything, this is the only guy to call. So Bobby Drake has given Jamie Madrox a ring. It's awkward, since he hasn't had much direct interaction with Jamie since he accidentally killed a bunch of him on a pseudo-bad-drug trip. Long story. He hopes Jamie isn't sore about that.

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Jamie Madrox answers quickly, "You've reached Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, Jamie, and Jamie, to whom may I direct your call?"

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"How about Jamie. Specifically structural engineering and contacting Jamie. Could you ask him if he wants to have some coffee and discuss a problem?" Bobby grins. Jamie is one of the few who can match (beat, actually) him for sheer impishness and propensity for pranks. Prank wars with him usually end poorly, if hilariously.

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There's silence for a moment, or more accurately, muffled shuffling and grunts as it sounds like the phone is dropped into the heart of a wrestling match, "YEAH! EAT IT YOU DOUCHE!" Jamie cries directly into the phone to a chorus of groans of disappointment, "Jamie speaking!" he says a moment later, chipper as can be, "Please tell me you want to talk about hot tubs, because putting a hot tub in your igloo would be just great story time… you do live in an igloo right? I mean I just assumed…"

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"We may have to try that." Bobby grins. Making an igloo would be literal childs play for him (seriously. Much as he tried to forget about being different after his powers manifested, he ''did'' try that once.). Putting a hot tub in would be… an adventure, he's sure. "I have something slightly more boring unfortunately. Or well, maybe not. I want to know if you could look at a dam and tell me how it might be brought down… and if you could fix it if someone tried."

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That shuts down the background noise pretty quickly, "Whosaidwhotowhatnow?" Jamie asks in a blur.

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"Warren Pennsylvania." Bobby replies after taking a sip at his coffee. "Someone's made some threats against the Kinzua dam just north of it. If it goes it'd take the town, and several others, out. We've got people investigating the threat but I don't have anyone who has the knowledge to look at the dam and tell me how to break it… or stop it from breaking."

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There's more silence, "Whoa." comes the responce, "Can you… hold on, lemme send out a research crew." the phone is covered again as orders are barked, muffled, and there's the sound of a small army heading out throuhg a small doorway, apparently all trying at once. Then another fight. Then more shuffling, this time more orderly. It takes awhile. "Okay, I sent a half dozen off to do some research on the dam, another dozen are on their way /to/ the dam, another half dozen are going to talk to my contacts in demo. My knowledge there is a bit spotty, usually we just have Scott give something an off look if we want it blown up, I shoulda known to get better aquianted with explosives. Crash course and I might bring along an outside expert on that account. Jeez man. What's going on?"

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"Well long story short, someone reached out to us for help. This town, Warren, the Mayor and the Police Chief both got really vague threats against the dam. 'The Kinzua Dam is a symbol of oppression and like all such symbols cannot be allowed to stand.' DHS and the FBI looked into it but decided that the threat wasn't credible. So the Mayor reached out to X-Red for a second opinion as it were. I've got Remy and Berto and some of our contacts in the Titans and beyond working on it but they're all focused on who and why. If the threat's serious we're also gonna need to know 'how'. And I figured you might be best for that part."

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Jamie Madrox is nodding, not that that helps on a phone, "Well, I should be showing up at the damn enmass in a couple of hours, however long it takes the Jeep to get there from the school. See what I can do about it. But since when is a dam a sign of oppression?"

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"Back in the sixties apparently that area was a Seneca reservation. About six hundred of them were forcibly relocated to make room for it and the flooding of the Allengheny River valley that resulted. Also a couple of other towns. Anyway it could be a reference to that, though no idea yet who sent the note. Activitsts, terrorists, Brotherhood types… who knows?" Bobby doesn't yet.

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Jamie Madrox groans, "Don't we have like six Indians on one of the billion X teams? I mean genetically speaking they are crazy high likelihood of mutation, way above the norm, can't we get an ambassador to, I dunno, talk to them?" he almost said something about smoke 'em peace pipe but thought better. Funny, but he's half certain it was racist somehow.

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Bobby chuckles. "Assuming it was the Indian then maybe… but we don't know. I mean, how many people would love to hijack a cause like this for an excuse to cause trouble? From what I understand, Brotherhood types never need that much excuse. And they're not the only ones"

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Jamie Madrox groans, "Bad guys just need to leave a name and number with every threat they make, just you know, to make it fair and what not." or easier. Cause Jamie's lazy as hell for a guy who can do a hundred jobs at once.

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"Well the good news, Jamie, is that you're consulting for X-Red now and I'm fairly sure I can get 'Berto to release some of that money he has set aside for 'consultants' for ya." After all, they promised to pay Remy for his trouble, only fair that the same offer be made to Jamie. At least Bobby thinks so… even if he is fairly sure at least one of those Jamies will be tempted to bill separately.

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Jamie Madrox clears his throat, "Well, /technically/ my labor costs are a little higher then Remy's. I mean, end of the day, he /is/ only /one/ consultant…." yup, Bobby got that Jamie on the phone.

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"I'll let you work that out with Berto." Bobby grins. Did he foist that negociation off on Warm Twin? Yes he did. And at the end of the day if Jamie manages to conn Berto out of more than one check, well that's his affair. It's his company after all. "I'm sure you two can come to an arrangement. How's things back at the Mansion? I've not been back in a while."

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Jamie Madrox looks around, "Empty. Mostly. I mean the kids are all alright, but everyone else is off being everyone else I guess. Quiet. It's kinda creepy honestly. We havn't been blown up or attacked in like a month. Don't know what to make of that."

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"Enjoy it while it lasts. If HYDRA can find us, others can." Sure, not every day. Or every month. Hell hopefully not every year. And HYDRA's got a lot of resources, but if they can be found once, it means the information to find them is out there.

"Have they conned you into teaching yet?"

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Jamie Madrox grumbles, "Like seven classes so far because you asshats are all off playing spandex warriors." he moves to his room and the sounds of packing can be heard, "You know when I retire you guys are so screwed, you have no idea."

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"I don't dress in spandex." Bobby laughs into the phone. "Usually. My uniform looks a lot more like biker leathers, actually. It's… it feels odd having a uniform with a strategically placed X honestly. I don't know how you've done it this long."

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Jamie Madrox snorts, "I don't have a choice remember? Unless /you/ know how to replicate a suit of micro circuitry so advanced it makes Hank's eyes scratch and allows it to break the laws of energy conservation. No? Then hush."

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"I don't know, and the very thought of trying makes my brain itch." The ice nerd grins. "But I mean the hero thing. The X thing. Surely you could leave if you wanted. I know I thought about it for a while when folks were being X-Jerks."

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Jamie Madrox makes a 'meh' sounds, "That's the great joy of being me Bobbsy boy, I don't have to choose. I can't do anything, I can do /everything/. Right now I'm on vacation in Fiji actually, when I get back I think I'll find I quite enjoyed it. Help releave some of the stress I imagine. Besides, it's home you know? Been here since I was eleven, where else am I gonna go?"

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"Well I left home… though I wasn't given a choice. Maybe you're right though. I guess I wouldn't really know. I wasn't given a choice either." Bobby's quiet now, thinking.

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Jamie Madrox stands up and frowns at the phone, "Dude. Don't be that guy." he says before continuing packing, "We have enough of that 'woe is me my life is so hard' orphan mutant angst crap in this house, cut that shit out otherwise it'll be a habit and you'll be yet another guy with a chisled jaw and six pack abs complaining to people about how they don't understand how hard it is for you. Yeah, life sucks super hard for pretty white men in their twenties. Must be rough." the dismissal in his tone is pretty strong, "Though I think I started it somehow… gotta stop that. Anyway! Whoopie cushions! Poo jokes! Fake dog vomit! Funny stuff man, think of funny stuff."

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Bobby laughs. "Sorry. You're right. And let's be honest Jamie, I've got a pretty good life right now. Run a lab, do hero stuff, get paid, go home to the girl. It's actually pretty sweet. Speaking of, have you considered signing on to Berto's thing? I know he'd welcome you… if you could get the pay issues sorted out."

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Jamie Madrox snorts, "Equal pay for equal work is all I'm sayin'. I do the work of fifty guys, I should get paid for fifty guys, seems fair to me is all." he doesn't mean a word of it… not that he won't /try/ mind you. Just not very hard. "Not really honestly. I'm not the hero type Bobby you know that, I mean I'm useful but lets be honest, what am I gonna do against Magneto in a straight up fight? Get killed by the rain of a million pennies?"

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"About the same that I'm gonna do, really, Jamie." Bobby snorts. "Combat power is not what I'm here for. Scientific advice, crowd control and being a chill guy. Magneto's in a class by himself from what I hear. I don't wanna even think about what'd happen if that old conflict between Xers and Brotherhood went hot again."

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Jamie Madrox snorts, "You sneezed and I died forty some-odd times Bobby. You wanna sell me a bridge, you should make sure I don't have extensive knowledge about geography." Jamie points out, "Anyway, I'm on my way, a bunch of me, and we'll see about this dam. Make sure it's cool with the authorities adn what not, and let them know I'm not wearing a uniform or anything flashy, help keep this quiet as much as we can, but I'll need some of the people that work the dam on sight to show all of me around."

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"I'll make a few calls. Thank Jamie I really do appreciate it. And… er… I really am sorry about flash freezing like forty of you." He had been high as a kite when it happened, long story, but still, Bobby feels bad about it.

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Jamie Madrox mehs again and pauses, "Didn't feel a thing Bobby, hell, I don't even really remember it truth be told just what I've been told. We're good dude." he feels ice on his spine and closes his eyes as he shakes off the memory and smiles right through the lie. It's amazing how good he is at that when he needs to be, must come from all that practice with himself, "See you in a couple hours."


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