Cleaning Day

January 05, 2015: Cleaning Woman! (NIAGARA FALLS!! SLOWLY I TURNED…)

Titans Castle - Main Floor

The part of the Titans base that people are likely to see…



Mood Music:

The Cleaning Lady is here. This is the time of great perturbation. The creature living behind the refrigerator, and sometimes in the deep water of the former missile shaft below the base, is disturbed. Oculeggans muscivors Loganii is now hiding under Gar Logan's bed. Meanwhile, Gar is in the kitchen doing a quick inventory. There seem to be far, FAR too many cans of beans. The emergency supplies of Ramen are also low. Someone has been eating them like they were food. Vegetables are deplorably low, and frozen. Eggs… need those.

"Hey, Jay? Do you need us to stock anything in particular?" Gar shouts, expecting her to hear.


The pointy-haired custodian hired by the Titans to clean their castle — contracted? indentured?— is busy scrubbing away at an old mark that may have been pasta sauce or wine in some past incarnation.

Fortunately she does have the ears for that sort of communication, and she looks up from her work even as her hands work on 'auto - pilot'.

"Gonnaneedmorebodybagsantwentygallonsofbleach. MaybesomeadditionalsteelwoolansomeDobies, too?" It's not quite a shout in return, but it is loud enough that it should be heard in the kitchen.


Body Bags? Doobies? Twenty gallons of beach?

"JAY! Slow down! And I'm doing kitchen stocking, not cleaning supplies, you can order those on the computer. Meals are included in your pay. Do you need us to stock anything in particular?" Gar shouts back. He grabs a notepad and a pen and Hawk flies to the room where she's working.

"Talk more slowly, so I can keep up."


"Oh.. okay! So. While I'd love to have nice thick juicy steaks that's not very economical or fair. Same token I'd prefer not to eat hot dogs every time I work. So if you can come up with something in-between there… I don't have food allergies, and I'm trusting folks to get whatever can fit a budget and taste good and not like cardboard. Cardboard is kind of sucky to eat. I've done it a couple of times though. Be sure that it's softened before you do?"

Okay, that's a bit odd, but open-ended.

That spot she was working on is cleaned up now.

"Think about how much it'd cost to have supposedly professional folks come in and do this, and come up with something decent that fits in about half that price range, as a guideline?"


"We already did that with your salary," Gar says. "That's why I'm leaving it open ended for you to decide. If you want steaks, you can have steaks, they might not be huge, but considering that we have it in the budget, you could have a steak, baked potato with all the works, and occasional lobster. Or variety. Or just have what we're having, we generally make a common meal for the people living here, and if you're not in when we eat, we'll save you a box for later."

They do that for Raven after all. Gar hears a strange noise from his room.

"Oh man. Uhm, if you see something move under my bed, it's OK. We have a mouse-hunter living behind the fridge, but it's hiding from you."


"They don't have to be big, and it is as much your side of the Deal to figure whatever out as it is mine to tell you. So yeah, some steak, some lobster, maybe pasta, some chili, some stew —- Ooh, have you ever had lamb stew? — Hmmm. Chicken soup is good, too, and sometimes lasagna or pizza — no anchovies, though. Not allergic, just don't like them."

As the pointy-eared woman is rambling her hands have found another soiled spot, this one looking like it dates from the construction of the building, and turns to work on it.

"Does that help any? And your rooms are your own situation. I clean the common areas. Because it could be bad for that sort of thing, right? And let the mouse-hunter know I'm not going to clean it unless it gets in the way, if you have some way of doing that?"

"Hey, Lucy, I'm hooooome!" Keith calls as he closes the door behind him. He looks a little frazzled and, if he were the kind to be partial to martinis, looking like he could use a strong one. He drops his backpack on the couch in the living room. Not getting an immediate reply, he assumes nobody is home just yet. Good, a shower would be a great way to simmer down. He takes the stairs upwards, unbuttoning his shirt as he goes, shoes already discarded by the door (it's not nice to track in muddy shoes).

"Today was clearly a stay-in-bed day," he mutters to himself as he reaches the upper floor.


"BUT RIIIICKYYYYY, your band ate all the foooood!" Gar yells back to Keith, grinning over to Jay.

"OK, I'll include you on the regular meals and bump up the variety a little. Otherwise we'd all eat chili all the time and you'd be buying thousands of those little tree things. Stop by when you get done and I'll show you the online ordering thing for getting bulk supplies like the stuff you were talking about, whatever that was. Do you really need that much bleach? We have the oxygen-based stuff that's not so hard on the environment. Remember, we're off the grid, so all our septic and stuff has to be completely biodegradable, so toxic chemicals have to be cleaned up and taken out the hard way, extra trip."


"Who's Lucy? Who's Ricky?"

Jay looks a bit confused at the quotations flying around, and then squints. Must be an in-joke or a security catch-phrase.

"Those little tree - things are for cheaters who don't know how to clean things correctly! If you clean things right you don't need little tree - things! And when you say 'get done', are you saying when I should stop, or when I get done with the entire job because I can be at this for another few months getting it all in order."

There's something about that tone… and the fact that some of the areas she's already cleaned are quite literally sparkling… that seems to underscore that intent. "Can't get you on a maintenance cycle until the deep cleaning is done, right?"

She listens about the bleach and the organic comments. "Huh. We'll have to change that to ten gallons of vodka and three gallons of the environmentally friendly cleanser, then. That should work."

Vodka for cleaning?


Keith blinks as he locates the sound of his boyfriend's voice and navigates to it, his shirt hanging from his arm. Then he hears Jay's voice, and is secretly thankful that he didn't start taking his pants off in anticipation for his shower.

"Oh hey, Jay, good to see you!" While not being completely high on pain meds that is. "Is Broccoli bothering you? Are you bothering Jay? No bothering the caretaker!"

He looks at the spots that are glittering and pauses. Touched by the Fae, indeed…

~How come YOU don't get these results?~
++I don't do floors, walls, or windows.++


"I can get .99 pure grain alcohol, unless you need some of it to be potable. Or if there's a reason it needs to be vodka."

Gar looks up as Keith comes in. "We have a problem. We need to get better meals, or we'll have to hire many, many less capable people. I'm going to start ordering supplies from restaurant supply so we won't end up with seventy-three cans of beans and no tomatoes. Again. We'll need to expand the hydroponics greenhouse too."


Jay probably would not have said a word about clothing or the absence thereof. It isn't her business or her job to judge. Only if said clothing were then left in an area where she was cleaning would she have a right to speak up, as per the Deal.

The elfin girl nods to Keith then shrugs at the assertion she's being bothered, as both of her hands are now focused on cleaning the newest stain, even as she watches the two. "Good evening Mister Keith."

"That would actually work a lot better, thank you. Most folks balk at the pure grain alcohol bit, which is why I normally go with vodka for such applications. You'd only need about three gallons of that. I can stretch it."

She makes no comment about the expanded diet, that's something for those on the other side of the Deal to figure out.


Keith blinks a couple of times. "Well… as long as we're expanding the greenhouse, what do you say to getting a hot-tub at the end of the courtyard? As long as we're, you know, adding things." He walks over to Gar and gives him a kiss on the cheek, leaning on the green one. "Hello, Jay. I hope your day has been better than mine, mine sucked eggs through a straw."


The green guy stands and gives Keef a quick neck massage. "What went wrong today? We're having steaks tonight, by the way. Or hamburgers if all we have is that round steak, and oops, I need to pop down and put some potatoes to bake."

POP! a green canary (no sonic cry) zooms out of the room. Gar is careful not to shed any feathers or other bird things in the process. He'll be back soon enough.


Speaking of Pops, not that she makes a sound or sets off one little alarm. But suddenly on one side of the room is a Misfit in full costume and gear. She is carting a sword and a stinger gun it looks like. She pauses a moment to look at a shirtless Vorpal and then at Jay next "Oh hey hi!"


Jay bounces a bit happily as she works. "My day has been awesome! I've gotten ten more cubic feet cleaned than I'd hoped. And no, I wasn't padding the work. There were some stains that looked a lot worse than they really were, and dust is sometimes very sneaky like a ninja. And steak for dinner!"

Okay, someone is having a good day, maybe it's making up for the bad day?

"Oh, hello there."


"Well, I just-" and off Gar goes, flying away to get his tubers hot. "… I'll update when he comes back." Because repeating himself is one of his few pet peeves. When Misfit pops up, he becomes self-conscious about being shirtless- not because he's in bad shape, quite the opposite, really, but because of the rather horrific scar right over his heart. Whatever happened to him there, it looks like it was serious, and that it probably hurt a lot.

He's gotten used to not hiding the scar around Gar anymore, after weeks of sleeping with his shirt on- but other people? That was another step to take, at another time.

"Hey, Misfit, just in time. We're having steak for dinner…" he looks at what his fellow Titan is carrying. "That looks familiar," he says with a smirk at the stinger.


There is banging and thumping from the kitchen. It includes some singing, if you can call it that, in French, and the words are all wrong, or at least probably not right. Then the freezer door opens and some rattling noises are followed by the thump of it closing and more 'singing'.

Gar appears in the room shortly afterwards, with a drinking bottle of water for Jay.


The young woman notes matter of factly "I did say I wanted to use my room here as a trophy room… I really need to get that Potents Staff back from the O … though I still think maybe I should use it.. it doesn't seem to break when I swing it at things… but nooo O is all worried it is a dangerous magical artifact that Mr. Fenris gave me and she is holding onto it.. when I took it fair and square from that Devourer Druid leader myself after punting him off a roof." then there is a brief pause "Is Gar cooking as the rat from ratatouille again?" does she even breath?


Another shiny spot, and Jay is moving to a cabinet that has some tar build - up that wasn't removed from one of the smokers that helped build the place. As she works, the cabinet is going from one shade of brown to a somewhat lighter one. And of course, sparkling where she's done cleaning it. She accepts the bottle of water from Gar, drinking about half of it before stopping. There is a few beats pause, then she makes a horrible hacking noise and spits a little bit into the towel she's using, hitting some stray splatters of something on the brightwork of the cabinet. Hardly hygenic, but it's sparkling as well.

"Thanks. I needed that. Sometimes… y'just gotta spitshine a thing."

She glances at Misfit. "Oohyoucantalkfastlikeme? That'ssoawesomeit'shardsometimestoslowdownandtalknormalforotherfolks!"

Keith looks from Misfit to Jay, and his eyes almost cross as the speed of speech increases. Oh dear, these two have found each other, what will become of the Titans? "Right…trophy room, not a prob-" he sidles away a little and bumps into Gar as he brings the bottle, so he steps aside to let him pass.

Taking up the interrupted subject, he only says "Club's not really up to hiring me again. They're looking for someone less prone to take injured days off. My reputation's spread- can't seem to get a bouncer gig at the other places, either, so maybe I'll see if the warehouse…"

Right. The warehouse. Waking up at 4 in the morning for the job. Good times.


"Actually, I'd rather use one of the unpurposed rooms downstairs as a trophy room. More securable, and I don't want to waste limited customized living space," Gar says. "But I totally agree with the idea of having someplace to keep trophies."

He sighs at the news from Keith. There ARE other options, that would work. And pay.

"Hang in there. I have an idea. ESU has openings around this time of year for campus security people. It'd mean working some long stretches, but only part of the week, and you get free tuition to a certain number of classes per term."

Misfit nods to Vorpal "Totes trophy room downstairs.. we can like put them on pedestals and stands like in a museum and even get a label maker.. or shoulder we get like one of those laser etching engraverssss" she makes little fingerguns and says "pew" because you know Laser Engravers totally go pew. Then she looks back to Jay and cocks her head.

"I'm not sure anyone can talk as fast as you're managing but I'm game to give it a go if you want me to. How come it's hard to talk slow for you, are you a speedster like Flash bruh? Also I love ears! My names Misfit, because on account I am a bit of a Misfit I guess, I own it though totes. What's your name?" and breathe. Maybe Charlie hit some sugar before coming over with her loot. That or perhaps she is riding high off some chaos energy, who knows aye!


"Welllllifyoucan'tgetajobatthecircus? Imean, you'reanacrobaticcatguy, right? Oryoucouldlookforacourierjob! Thosearekindagoodifyouknowparkour!"

Jay's offer of other job suggestions comes free of charge, just trying to help a cat out.

She squints a bit. Would the proposed Trophy Room be considered part of her cleaning tasks? She keeps that thought to herself for the moment.


She tilts her head at Misfit."No. NottheFlash. Jay. JayDonohue."

She shifts her attention to a wall that needs sweeping. But no, she has no guitar that gently weeps.


Keith stares at Jay for a few seconds while his ears and brain string out the sounds and insert pauses where appropriate. "Um.. I.. no, I'm not sure the circus is a good idea. For one, there isn't a local circus, they're all mostly itinerant." He looks at Gar and smirks a little, "Alright, that sounds like a doable thing. As well as the discount- provided I do decide to go to college."

It's not like he hasn't been thinking about it, but he still doesn't know what exactly is his vocation. He has been peeking at books on forensic sciences, but he is not sure yet on whether it is an interest because it complements his job, or whether it is something he actually would love to learn and exercise.

And, of course, the doubts as to whether he has what it takes to get through with it. Too many questions still, but he's trying to sort things out before he decides. He doesn't want to be 'That Guy' on campus who is coasting on someone else's money and taking classes in underwater basket weaving because he's still 'trying to find himself.' Oh no.


Gar reaches over and taps Keef gently on the back of his head. "Stop that pre-moping."

He admires the recently spit-shined section, but not too closely.
"We should step on out so Jay can work, here, people. She's good but we don't want to make her use up her miracles on fixing what we mess up behind her. How do you like your steak, Jay? It'll be about an hour before food is ready."


Misfit shifts her loot "Nice meeting you Jay!" and she seems ready to take the hint from Gar now and get ouf of he way. She then announces "I'm going to go check out rooms we could use for a trophy room!" and she bounces >pinkurple> smoke left in a flash in her wake. At least she has enthusiasm.


Jay nods to folks and turns her attention to working once more.

"Let it kiss the grill then have regrets."

Funny, she doesn't look like she'd be that kind of meat-eater. Perhaps it takes all kinds, or perhaps she wants a different sort of taste?

"Easy on the salt and pepper, with some gentle seasoning. Make the meat speak for itself."

She nods to Misfit. "Nicetomeetyoutoo!"


He hadn't pegged Jay as a carnivore, but hey- she was on the right team. There was not a single person on it who could be qualified as predictable. He leaves with Gar after Misfit vanishes, and gives him a pinch. "I wasn't moping! I'm just trying to figure things out, Broccoli. Besides… are you sure you're not a telepath?"


"I said pre-moping. You were getting that frowny thing going."

Gar pokes at the spot between Keith's eyebrows then rubs the spot Keef pinched. Evil cat monster.

"There's enough steaks. I'm thinking of making some mushroom gravy too."

And with that Gar picks Keith up and heads for the shower. "YOU need to wash up now."


Keith laughs and flails a little, "Sounds like a plan. But I warn you- set a timer. I might decide to delay you a little. Wouldn't do to burn the potatoes just because I got friendly…" he grins and does his best Groucho Marx eyebrow waggle at Gar as he is carried up.

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