No Swords in Berto's Bed

January 20 2015: Illyana needs some help sleeping and dragoons Berto. Then Jericho and K'nert arrive.

Roberto's Bedroom

Berto's bedroom often has guests and is designed for it. Not usually like this though.



  • K'nert

Mood Music:
[* None]

Most people that are familiar with Illyana know that she tends to have a short temper and snarky disposition. It's really only those close to her that might guess that a contributing factor to that is that Illyana doesn't sleep. Not in amounts that most people would equate to sleep. She usually goes a week or more without. And that's a week on Earth. Who knows how many actual hours that is if she's spending time in Limbo.

Lately though, Illyana's been getting something closer to regular amounts of sleep having found a teddybear that can mostly ward off her chronic nightmares. Or, given the shapes his fields take, a teddyholowolf. But Jericho's not home and, a quick look in on him shows that he's 'working' and Illyana isn't inclined to interrupt him.

But Illyana's gotten used to semi-regular sleep and she's not really willing to give that up. And so this late evening (or early morning, depending on how you like to measure time), Illyana shows up at Roberto's penthouse. Because he's actually not entertaining tonight and he's asleep. Given that security means little to the sorceress she climbs into 'Berto's rather expansive bed in the too-large shirt that serves as PJs and curls up against the warm mutant's side.

Surrogate teddybear obtained.


For his part, Roberto's exhausted. He has been working hard and putting in long hours on the Central Park restoration project, and yesterday's encounter with a mutant fugitive added an extra layer of emotional fatigue. It took him ages to get to sleep, and when he finally did, it was the kind of sleep that the body doesn't let go of for anything less than somebody setting the bed on fire.

Besides, it's not as though he isn't accustomed to sleeping with a woman curled up next to him — in a way, an unfamiliar presence at his side is a comforting signal of business as usual. So when Illyana joins him, he just murmurs a few disconnected syllables of dream Portuguese, rolls over slightly, and puts an arm around her without waking up.


Jericho had been 'working' but that's a rather unusual term when it comes to him. The sense he gets of Illyana isn't real specific. In fact it's pretty damn vague buuuuut he did think he got something of a query from her about half an hour ago. It hadn't seem urgent though so it's quite early when he arrives at the DaCosta building following his sense of where she is. Which is apparently in there, and if he has to take a guess, he knows where. One flight up later and he's joined by a small imp as he slides the veranda door open and lets himself inside Berto's penthouse.

It's nice. Really nice. Berto has a talent for decorating, or pays someone who does a rather large amount of money. He's a little surprised to not see the owner of the place awake. Nor indeed, Illyana. It's not until he curiously peeks in the bedroom that he finds her and grins…

Sure, others might suddenly worry or get jealous. Jericho just folds his arms, his eyes dancing in impish amusement because there's Illyana, in one of his shirts, teddybearing someone who used to be fairly terrified of her. Hrm. How to do this? Should he wake them at all? He hasn't decided yet.


Illyana is often found in the DaCosta building, since it headquarters the Red Team both as hero team and business venture. She's even often at Roberto's penthouse, often taking advantage of his rather excellent coffee or actually y'know, visiting the penthouse's owner. But she hasn't before just helped herself to the owner himself.

The blonde herself tends to sleep fairly deeply, a holdover from going so long between sleeping when even her nightmares couldn't wake her. When Jericho shows up she does murmur something, absently patting the arm around her. Her sense of her Familiar tells her that he's near, and her sleepy brain puts together the warm body at her back with the only person she's normally in bed with.


Roberto can deal with being awakened by jealous boyfriends. He has practice! Although diving through an open window would present a significant problem this many stories up. For one thing, the windows don't open.

But of course, that's a moot point: he's still deep asleep, and from the looks of things, it will take at least a four on the Richter scale to change that. He just nuzzles at her blonde hair — yes, okay, he has a weakness! — and keeps breathing deeply.


How about a K'nert on the Richter scale? Jericho has about decided that really, all's well here. He's not much inclined to wake Illyana from sleeping (she gets a lot more of it than she used to but still) and he's not at all worried about anything. K'nert however, starts to amble over to the bed and climb up it.

"K'nert, what the hell do you think you're doing?" The hissed reply in demonic makes the hacker's amber eyes widen but before he can do anything the imp wedges himself behind Berto, puts his muzzle right on his neck and starts to lick.


If anything, Illyana's even less prone to wake up given she can 'feel' that Jericho is close by. It means everything is right with her world! Or well, as right as it gets. The nuzzling has her cuddling back closer to Roberto, oblivious to what her imp is up to.


Roberto is settling back into deep REM sleep when he feels a warm tongue lapping at his neck. No, getting cuddled from both sides isn't an unfamiliar or unwelcome sensation, but the licking is making it a little tricky to sleep. He shifts, then turns his head away from Illyana, eyes still closed. "Menina, estou cansado…" he mutters reproachfully, reaching up with one hand to rub at his eyes. They slit open slightly after that, and he looks at K'nert. His dream-fogged brain takes an unusually long time to process the sight, then he's bolt upright, scrambling back toward the headboard as though trying to perch on it.

"Illyana!" he calls out loudly, as though addressing someone in another room. "What did we say about demons in the bed! No demons in the bed! I have company!" His eyes flash to that company, then widen as he recognizes just who it is. "Illyana!" he repeats, his voice cracking. This couldn't possibly be any more awkward, right? Unless, you know, Roberto were a nude sleeper.

Oh, wait…


Even worse. Roberto does have company. As K'nert lets out a mocking, hissing laugh and leaps off the bed and over toward Jericho the flit in motion may reveal an annoyed looking hacker rubbing his temples. He's not, to be sure, annoyed with Berto but that may not be immediately obvious as Tent pinches the bridge of his nose. "Just… why?"

He's talking to K'nert who has now skittered over by his leg. Again, unless Berto takes a moment to think about it, that might not be immediately obvious.


One thing that Illyana is not used to is being awoken suddenly. Certainly not by the person in her bed! Back at Xavier's she used to have 'Keep Out' signs and warnings on her door. Sure, lots of teenage girls might do that but Illyana's really were warnings.

'Berto's yelling has her jerking and flailing awake, sitting up and trying to get her brain to engage as she takes in her unfamiliar surroundings.

She manages to come up onto her knees, the hem of Jericho's shirt hitting her thighs with her sword blazing to life in one hand as she's looking around and finds… a naked 'Berto trying to perch on the headboard like a cat desperately afraid to fall into the pool.

Oh so eloquently, the Queen of Limbo says: "Huh?"


Roberto spots Jericho last of all, barks out a little noise of protest, and grabs a pillow in a too-little-too-late effort to preserve his modesty. "When the shit did this turn into a slumber party?!" he yelps, before his still muddled brain can activate the meta-narrative nodes capable of puzzling out what this scene would look like to an outside observer.

"This isn't what it looks like!" he tells the outside oberver, holding up a warding hand against any retaliatory strikes by that observer. "There is no 'this' to turn into a slumber party! I swear!"

Then a few more lights flicker on in his brain and he gives the others a suspicious look. "Wait. This isn't…?" He points at Illyana, then at Jericho. "Is it? I mean, if you're just —" He flounders, trying to find the words. "There are ways to ask for things. If you want. Things."

No one ever said the lights that flickered on were high-watt bulbs.


It's probably not comforting that when Illyana's soulsword comes out Jericho's own blade does too, unfolding with a set of metallic scraping noises. It's really, honestly, so the confused queen of Limbo doens't sword anything she'll regret later. Berto, sure, might be safe but Jericho and K'nert are both emminantly swordable. The hacker touches the very tip of his blade lightly to Illyana's, just enough impact to get her attention and hopefully ward off (some) of the confusion.

K'nert cackles in demonic delight and skitters into the shadows. Gone. Jericho's not in any danger after all. Well, at any rate Illyana's there so K'nert doesn't need to watch. He will, 'cause this is funny, but he'll hide first. His job is done here. Jericho snaps after him in demonic, which also might not be comforting to Berto. Nor indeed when the amber eyed hacker turns a wry smile on the younger man and says "Oh I'm fairly sure this is exactly what it looks like."

He doesn't say what he thinks it looks like, of course. Illyana may be rubbing off a bit on Jericho. He's becoming a bit of a troll.


It's Jericho's calm that most lets Illyana know that there isn't a threat to life, limb or soul. Sanity, maybe. While the Soulsword Unmakes magic, Jericho's sword isn't *quite* magical. More magic-primed and the light touch makes the latter blade ring softly as the blazing one fades away.

Since things are, err, safe now, Illyana drops back to sit on the bed with a *flumf* and eyes 'Berto accusingly. "Don't scare me like that!" Yeah 'Berto. Don't scare Illyana! She rubs at her eyes, shoulders slumping a bit. "Nearly gave me a heart attack." Is she surprised 'Berto's naked? Well, no. She's well aware how the Brazillian prefers to sleep.

As for asking? Ffft. The Queen of Limbo doesn't ask. "You were sleeping." She says, like it's a perfectly logical explination.


"Okay. Whoa. Very impressive swords, everyone. Now put them away," Roberto says, forgetting that he was, in a manner of speaking, the first to draw one. "Swords in the bedroom are definitely a safewords-first thing, certo?" He's now holding up both hands, not sure which of his unexpected guests he might have to ward off first.

(The pillow? Held in place by little more than leg-hair friction and a prayer.)

Illyana flopping back onto the bed, swordless, eases a bit of his concern, but apparently not enough. "Don't scare you like that?" he repeats incredulously. "Yeah, no worries there. I will definitely not be doing that. But would you mind telling me what happened while I was sleeping, exactly? Because I'm still catching up."


Oh the possibilities here. Jericho could go through a more detailed explanation but the normally serious hacker is still feeling a bit impish. He folds away his blade and slides it back into the case behind him with practiced ease. "It's all quite simple. I was out working, sensed Illyana here on the way back, came in to check and found you in bed with her." He folds his arms again, eyes flashing with mischief. Yes, he phrased it that way on purpose. "Nuzzling her. Got a thing for blondes, I'm guessing." Not that he blames the man. He does too as it turns out. Well, blonde. Singular.


Now Illyana has never advertised her relationship with Jericho. Nor has she gone to any lengths whatsoever to hide it and most of Red Team knows that she lives with him. It's on her HR paperwork! As to any details of that? Well, unless someone thought to ask she hasn't said anything.

More at ease now, Illyana drops back into more of a reclining sprawl with one elbow holding her upper body up as she's facing the 'Berto on a ledge. Which he apparently still hasn't quite gotten down from. It's rather impressive, really that he's managed to stay wedged up there.

Jericho's observation that 'Berto was nuzzling at her has her turning her head to look back at him with a smirk. "And just how long were you standing there?" She asks, her tone dryly amused.


Roberto lowers his hands — securing the pillow in the process — and peers at Jericho warily. Apart from the meager light currently coming in through the window, his solar batteries haven't had anything to charge them for several hours. That window leap is looking like more of a possibility every second.

Illyana certainly hasn't done anything to hide her fondness for Jericho, and Roberto, for one, has certainly long since guessed at the extent of their relationship. If he had any lingering doubts, this scene is certainly dispelling them.

Which means just one thing: keep the boyfriend talking. "What can I say? I'm a cuddler by instinct," the Brazilian says, trying (and probably failing) to make that sound perfectly innocent. He also takes advantage of the time this buys to lower himself off of the headboard. "So, I guess this wasn't something the two of you planned."


Jericho smirks back at Illyana, arms still folded. "Oh you know. A few minutes. I was watching the two of you." Beat. "Trying to decide what to do."

He's aware that sounds a bit ominous. Really it had been 'wake Illyana to see what she'd wanted or let her sleep. And he'd been leaning toward 'let her sleep'. He looks over at Berto, quiet for a long moment. "No. Why would I plan for Illyana to be in bed with a naked man?"

Jericho lets that hang in the air, keeping his face as straight as he can for a long moment before he just… can't.. hold it. The hacker bursts out laughing and relaxes his stance a bit. "Stop worrying so much. You look like you think I'm going to try to hit you or something. It's fine. I was out and sensed Illyana looking for me. Didn't feel urgent so when I was done I followed her here and found you two. No big deal."


Illyana knows Jericho enough to know when he's angry. More, this close she'd be able to taste the heat of it through that Familiar bond. Instead, she pouts. "I was tired. You were busy." And Jericho knows she can actually manage to sleep with him close at hand. Roberto is also likely well familiar with why Illyana doesn't sleep. Or didn't sleep. It actually speaks to how much she thinks of Roberto that he was her replacement teddybear.

"Well, I climbed into your bed, so that I suppose I 'planned'. You having a sudden freakout totally wasn't." Illyana notes.


No, Roberto was not rapidly running through the steps of his escape plan. He wasn't going to throw the pillow at Jericho as a distraction, gym-kata over the hacker's head, bolt out onto the patio and then vault the railing. He wasn't carefully gauging his solar reserves to figure out whether he had enough to jet in through one of the windows of Red HQ, where he could find an underling he could order to lend him his pants. What are you talking about?

"For the record, I only freaked out because I woke up to a demon trying to get to first base," he tells Illyana with as much dignity as a naked man clutching a pillow to his junk can muster. "I'm always up for a sleepover, but I thought we had an agreement about the demons."


Jericho sighs at that. "You can thank K'nert for that." He certainly will when he finds the little guy again. The imp generally listens to him but he is after all a demon and a smart one with a mind and agenda of his own.

He knows exactly what it says about Berto that she felt she might be able to sleep next to him. So her pout only gets a much gentler smile and a one shouldered shrug. "Sorry."


"I was sleeping, I did *not* invite any demons into your bed outside of me." Illyana protests. Jericho's explanation? That gets a groan that edges into a growl. "I'm gonna turn him into a pair of boots." Mostly because it freaked *her* the hell out. Though she'd probably want to smack him a few times for breaking the 'no demons in 'Berto's bed that aren't Illyana' rule.

Well. Now that that's been sorted out, Illyana reaches over to Jericho who had come over to the edge of the bed and gives him a tug so he sits down on it. And promptly uses him as furniture while turning her narrowed eyes on Roberto. "What *was* that dirty mind of yours thinking, anyhow?"


Roberto has gotten off the bed and is backing toward his closet when Illyana's question interrupts his progress. "Oh. Um." He winces and gives Illyana a pitiful look. "You don't really need me to spell it out, right? I woke up with a woman in my bed and her boyfriend watching from across the room." He puts one hand up, palm out, distancing himself as much as possible from what he just said without dropping the crucial pillow. "I don't make judgments about what people do in private." Or other people's houses, apparently. The Brazilian gets to his closet and sidles inside for some welcome privacy.

"So it was that loaner demon of yours?" he continues, changing the subject from the other room. "I guess that makes sense. He looks different from, uh… up close." Face pressed up to your neck close, he definitely doesn't say. He already gets enough flak from his friends about his bedroom companions without this getting around.


At least K'nert wasn't giving him bedroom eyes. It was more a combination of impish mischief and 'I will eat your liver' murderous stare. K'nert's good at that, actually. Jericho's gotten it more than a few times. Less these days though.

The hacker finds himself used as combination pillow and couch. And he doesn't seem to mind that much. "No, you don't." He grins. "Just what people do with your privates." Or what he thinks they're going to do anyway.

"Yeah, that was K'nert. He's mine." And by extension Illyanas though Jericho doesn't go into the details of that. Either Illy's explained it… or she hasn't.


Illyana gives Roberto a slow blink, and then tries to keep from giggling. Which turns into snickering as she turns her head to press her face against Jericho's chest as Roberto tries to well… not explain it. Really, it takes a while for her to stop snickering as Roberto hides in the closet.

Eventually though, she gets herself under control with a long sigh. "I really am sorry 'Berto." Another rare apology! It seems like she's getting better at offering those up on occasion. "I wasn't expecting Jericho to drop in and I really wasn't expecting the demon alarmclock."


"Not to worry, Illyana. I got kind of a scare, but honestly, this is going to be a hilarious story," Roberto answers as he returns wearing a pair of gray sweatpants and a T-shirt. He can't help but smile at the rare apology, but now that he isn't worried about Jericho's vengeance or K'nert's affections, he sincerely doesn't seem to mind the unusual morning. The young mutant is only too familiar with the kind of hungry expressions Illyana's demons frequently turn on her human friends, so that, at least, won't be an additional cause of stress for him. "You two want coffee? I'm going to make coffee."


"No one expects the demon alarmclock." Kind of like the Spanish Inquisition in that. Jericho grins as Illyana snerks and snickers her way back to normality. K'nert may be in a bit of trouble but at least everything here is okay. "I didn't actually mean to wake either of you, and I wouldn't mind a cup but if you two want to visit I can step out."


Illyana looks torn. Warm, comfy bed or delicious coffee? The sudden yawn ends up being the deciding factor and she waves off Roberto. "I'm still tired, and I want to go back to bed. You're off the hook though. I'll make Jericho play teddy bear." She does elbow the hacker lightly to inform him, "He's really warm and snuggly though. You should try some time!"

Then, flashing Roberto an impish grin she teleports the pair of them out. Leaving him with the question, will Jericho end up in his bed one morning next??

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