Bonded Twice

March 18, 2015: Jes reveals let another secret to Zee




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Mood Music:

Jes quietly moves up the stairs, looking for Zee. She knows there are some things they need to talk about, she had meant to answer any of Zee's questions when they'd returned from their walk. Only Zee had some stuff to look up and Jes had decided to be helpful by doing the laundry. The dark magic and fear scent on Zee's clothes had set her on edge again however and so she'd gone to the park for a run. Or she'd meant hadn't quite worked out that way. She's been gone for an entire night and most of a day.

Zee's been preoccupied since returning home from their walk. She's noted Jes was out when she went to bed, but the trip to New York the next morning, with a sidetrip to Limbo, had her distracted.

Zee is currently standing in the library looking at bookshelves.

Jes leans against the doorframe and watches her with a smile for awhile. She looks serious and distracted at the same time, really cute. "Hi Zee." Her voice is soft and relaxed sounding. "Everything okay?

Zee seriously considers that question before answering "I will let you know." Turning to face Jes, she looks questioningly at her friend "How are you?"

Jes blinks a bit at her answer and is across the room very quickly. Much quicker than a human should be able to move. Her nostrils flare as she sniffs at Zee, her eyes moving over her friend with worry. "Are you hurt? Did something happen? I forgot my phone.." While worried Jes doesn't seem on edge like before. She isn't half growling and her eyes are normal, so is her posture. "And I'm fine. Better even."

Zee smiles at Jes in an amused way, tilting her head as she realises something is different there. "Been to see Fenris again?" an educated guess on the Magi's behalf. She won't press if Jes doesn't want to discuss it.

Not seeing any harm done to her, Jes hugs Zee for a moment and then steps back with a smile. "I was. I hadn't meant to be gone so long but..I'm not always so good with time and..he's Fenris. It's a bit hard to think of anything else when you're with him." At least for her it is. "I'm sorry I was so.." She tilts her head and sighs. "So difficult."

Jes will help. She hates stuff like that. Well, hopefully she'll help. It will probably be good for her. She's going to lose it for awhile soon in a way that will take time to fix but I am still figuring out a few details.

Zee quirks an eyebrow at Jes statement and then shakes her head. "You weren't being difficult. These things happen. " Blowing out a deep breath, Zee speaks softly "Does Fenris know how you feel about him?"

Jes grins at her. "I'm not sure I can speak freely of that yet. But yes. It is a small part of why I felt the need to help that woman. There is more though and I think I must tell you now. I owe you an explanation for why I was so unsettled." Her grin fades and she looks, not worried but perhaps, concerned. "You've been so good to me, Zee and so understanding of what I am. Maybe I should have told you this already but we have both been busy and I..I trust you but am also afraid." She admits.

Zee's listening. Lowering herself into one of the chairs in the room, Zee lounges back and crosses her ankles, and nods for Jes to sit and continue.

Jes gracefully lowers herself to the floor in front of her friend. She crosses her legs and studies her knees for a long moment as she tries to decide where to start. "I told of my friend, that one who died. And that I loved him but was not in love with him. That was true, but in a way it was also not. I met him when I was for the first time when I was about four, maybe five. The very first moment I caught his scent, something happened to me. I've heard people say that some animals, birds and such will imprint upon the first creature they see as is its parent. The best way I can think of to describe it is like that. I, imprinted on him, or bonded with him. I needed him. To be around him, with him, to protect and love and..when we were separted for long I became despondent."
Jes sighs and her shoulders slump. She doesn't look up but Zee can see it hurts her badly to talk about this. "I would do anything for him. All he had to do was say it. It wasn't just that I wanted to because I loved, I had to it. I had to. Even just a simple thing. "Let's take a walk. Watch this movie. Come here." An offhand comment and I would instantly do it." She pauses to take a breath and give Zee a chance to absorb it all.

Looking down as Jes settles on the floor, Zee nods slowly. She's read about animals, imprinting and pack behaviours. "It even happens for people…" she notes "but in a slightly different way." Smiling softly, Zee tries to ease the pain for Jes. She'll wait till the other woman is prepared to continue.

"It isn't a coyote thing though really, they don't live in packs. Families, yes. But only for a few years at most. They don't even mate for life like wolves. I don't know why this happens to me. If it weren't for him though, I'd not be who I am. It was because of him that I began to learn to be human. I had spent almost the whole of my life until then as a coyote pup. It was easier for my brothers so they didn't try to make me be human. I think that I didn't try because human babies age so much more slowly. As a coyote I could play and run and chase the mice. Sleep and eat and cuddle. As a baby and then a toddler, but still with coyotes mind, it was unbearable. After I bonded to him I began to learn. To walk, to speak, to act like others. Without him, I may have never done so."
"But it wasn't without its price. I was lucky because he loved me too, and wouldn't do anything to take advantage, not on purpose. When he died I thought that I would too. I nearly did. I didn't begin to recover until after I'd avenged him, and there is still an empty place in my heart that will never be filled again."

Zee can't imagine a family that would do such a thing. 'Easier for her brothers to leave her a Coyote.' Zee shudders "I'm so sorry, Jes…" and nods for the young Coyote to continue.

Jes looks up at her voice and smiles a little. "It wasn't their fault Zee, they were only 15 when I was given to them and mostly on their own. They did the best they were able. It was one of the best things that ever happened to me but also the worst. I don't know why or how it happened but it's been two years, nearly three since his death. I'd never expected to have that reaction to another person. It was odd enough the one time, but then i came to the city." Jes meets her eyes. "The first night we met, I knew. You have no idea how relieved I was when you brought me here not much longer after. It wouldn't have gone well for me if you hadn't." She smiles a little, though she looks worried now. "I have done my best to do eveything you've asked or said since then, because I must, I would do anything for you Zee. Anything. I need to be near you. I am not myself if I'm not."

Zee wouldn't have done otherwise… a young woman alone, hunted by HYDRA and having no place to go. Of course she offered Jes sanctuary. Sitting forward, rubbing the back of her neck, Zee's thoughts flitter across her face. "You… imprinted…. on me?" Scrubbing her face a little, Zee blows out another breath… "O.K. So you need to be near me… but I'm not always around." Sometimes she finds herself in Limbo, a place Jes just can not go.

Jes nods. "It's difficult but alright, you come back and as soon as I can touch you and smell you.." Jes winces. "Your scent calms me. Usually. If you are hurt or frightened then I'll be upset of course and need to help. but if you tell me to settle down or be calm, then I am. The problem was that.." Jes looks a little bewildered. This happening a second time hadn't been something she'd ever expected. "It happened a third time." She shakes her head. "Fenris. I was feeling so at odds and conflicted. I don't like your friend Jericho. Mostly because he belongs to a demon. I know I haven't met her yet but I think I hate her. You wear that, and I know it marks you as hers and I do not like it. I want to tear to them both to pieces but even if I had that power, " Jes can't help but growl a bit. "And I know I do not, I couldn't do anything, because I am also bonded to Fenris and the demon is his friend. He does not have many, nor does he name a person so lightly. I was torn between my need to protect you, my anger at his putting your soul at risk with such foul magic and the knowledge I could do nothing about it."

Zee stills and looks at Jes. "Bonded to Fenris?" Zee scrubs her face again, confused. "Did the bond transfer because you were angry or are you bonded twice." Zee won't comment on Jes like or dislike of Jericho, he's an acquired taste (or so she's told Illyana).

Giving Jes a soft look, Zee shakes her head "Everything I do, is willingly, Jes. There is no coercion." A wry and sheepish look crosses her face "I accepted Illyana's gift and put the terms in place myself, albeit unwittingly, I was trying to be cocky… But know this, that connection to Magik, it's saved me more than once and I expect in coming days, it will do so again." After what they'd found in the Yukacatan… it's the only conclusion she can draw.

"I'm sorry that it caused you such distress, though. If I'd known, I might have been able to let you know something, somehow." Canting her head, Zee looks bemused and repeats herself "Bonded to Fenris" or was it now instead.

"To both of you, yes. At the same time. I figured you had done as much. I don't know magic like you, and I do not know your friends but, it would be like a demon to do such a thing. You are very powerful but very young. She took advantage." Jes growls again but then sighs and shakes her head. "No. I don't like you spending time in that place, it isn't good for you. The magic you did that saved his friend, doing things like that will add up. It will change you. It will slowly get easier every time and worse things will become acceptable. It will damage your soul, Zee. That is something I couldn't bear to see."

"Illyana did, absolutely." Zee admits that readily "She's part demon and it's in her nature." Shrugging "It was my own fault, Jes. I gave her the opening and I'll live with those consequences." Jes' words about Zees soul has the young magi grimacing, she won't admit it but it's something she's concerned about a little.

"Bonded to two at once, that must be … difficult" Zee brings the conversation back to Fenris "What does Fenris have to say about that?"

Jes stares at her. She doesn't have to say anything, Jes can scent her worry and read her body language. "Nature or not she took advantage of you. It wasn't your fault. I will not for..forget." She changes at the last second. "That easily." "Difficult…" Jes shakes her head and laughs, but not in amusement. "It's strange. Obeying is not in my nature and I know it and at the same time I know I will do anything you or he ask of me, no matter how I truly felt about it and despite that I still want to do whatever it is. I need you both. I love you both. It felt as if I was being torn in two, wanting to protect you from what I saw as a threat when that threat belongs to, or is Fenris's friend."

"Jes…" Zee sighs the word "I knew better. Illyana knew that… " Zee can't blame Illyana for acting within her nature, she might not like it, but Zee gave her that in. And Zee knew better! Thankfully John Constantine wasn't around, Zee would never hear the end of it otherwise.

"It can't be easy, but Jes… I would never ask you to obey. I think I understand you feel you need to… I'll be careful with how I phrase things to try and make that easier for you." Canting her head at her friend, her eyes narrow "But you're more relaxed now, why?"

'It's okay. If I get too worked up, you should tell me to be calm. I'm not worried about you taking advantage of me Zee. And I'm not just saying that because I feel a need to, I trust you. I'm relaxed because I told Fenris what was bothering me, we talked about it and I'm not feeling torn between the two of you now. I still…" She gives Zee an apologetic look. "You might need to tell me to shut up. Or sit. Or something, around Jericho. Or Her." She gives Zee's collar an angry look. "But I will do my bes tto work with them if you need me to. And I will go with you whenever you will take me. Even limbo." She blushes then. She had sorta gone there without being taken, but she'd had to.

Zee wants to know what Fenris had said, she's fascinated but she won't push Jes on the matter.

Shrugging a little, Zee smiles wryly as she settles back into her chair "Have you met Illyana, yet?" Zee doubts it, Illyana is an interesting personality and would probably rub the Coyote the wrong way. "You can't come to Limbo, Jericho's made that very clear. But… I'll take you whereever I can… there will be places, I simply can't. o.k?"

Jes's eyes flash. Forbidden? But someone not Zee or Fenris..only Zee has just told her she can't come. Jes visibly wilts but nods. "I understand. You are your own person and you have a life and people that have nothing to do with me. It might be hard sometimes but I do understand. Just, please call for me if you're in danger and I can help. Don't worry for my safety. You can't ask me to call you for help when I'm too worried to do so and then not call on me for the same reason." Jes looks thoughtful and then suddenly grins. Or, sort of grins. It's the grin of a predator, a hunter considering its prey. She might not be able to go to limbo, or do anything to actually harm Jericho..but he's going to pay for this at some point.

Zee gets Jes' frustration but Limbo is dangerous and Zee trusts Jericho, even if Jes doesn't. What a mess.

"The biggest help you can be for me, Jes… is to help me remember that I have a good side, who I am. Just being here is a help." Zee smiles self-deprecatingly "And you're correct, I will call you if I need help. I like how we work together…"

Jes gasps and is across the small space between them in an instant. She takes both of Zee's hands in her own. "You are a good person. You are. I swear I will not let you become otherwise. I don't care what i have to do. You're bright and beautiful and good and no one will take that from you."

"My powers are growing Jes." Zee squeezes her friends hands "You said it yourself, every little thing counts… I worry." The young magi is still dressed in her workout gear from the night before "I fought demons in Limbo with Jericho, Jes. I used power I didn't know I possessed, I don't know how… but the massacre." Zee shakes her head a little "I didn't feel beautiful and bright afterwards." she shrugs a little.

"Killing doesn't come natural to you, even if its demons. Though I really don't think you should be troubled by that. It's okay to be affected by it though, if you weren't, that would be a problem. My father, the one who is hydra. He kills as easily as he breathes. The lives of others have no meaning to him. You are nothing like that Zee, nothing at all. You fight to help people, to save them. And from what I've seen" And here Jes gives her a look. "You do so without nearly enough regard for your own safety. Or you consider it and then do it anyway." Jes smiles. "Intent matters with this kind of thing too, I think. But from now on, whenever I can, I will make sure it is me who kills and not you. I will feel no sorrow or darkness on my soul for killing someone out to harm you."

Zee laughs a little "I know I won't convince you, but some demons… just get a bad rap." No, she won't mention their names again. "Thank you for saying that Jes, I don't want to loose that. I…. I…. I can kill if I need, have, to… but I don't want it to be my 'go to' response, you know?"

"I think, as my powers develop," Zees' smile softens a little "I'm going to be relying on my friends to keep me grounded in that respect." She'd do the same for them… without question, as Jes had just pointed out.

"I know that you can..I don't don't doubt and I will always trust you to have my back, but I will also always do my best to make sure you don't have to do that. You help keep me grounded just by being. I'll help you do the same, I promise." Jes smiles. "No matter what happens."

Zee smiles, more easily, at that. "Good. OK, do you mind if I speak with Fenris about the bonding issue? I want to make sure I'm doing the right thing by you… " an impish grin crosses her face "And would you like some icecream? I know I do."

Jes eyes her. Talk to Fenris?…But her eyes are crinkling with amusement. Coyote approves of this. "I don't mind. And Ice cream sounds great!" Jes's stomach rumbles and she blushes. "I may have fogotten to eat since..the night before last, I'm starving."

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